Those Ocean Eyes and That Charming Smile

001

"I'm telling you, don't open the door." I speak at the tv and try to convince the main character who is clearly incapable of hearing me, not to go through the door of her room

But, knowing that all of those classic horror movies will always end up spiraling down the same tunnel of the main character with absolutely no survival ability, goes through that damn door I tried to warn her about only for a mysterious gloved hand to clamp down on her open mouth scream and mute her before she even has a chance to escape. She is still screaming for the unimaginable help to come busting through her door coincidentally but is left hopeless when she could never dial '911' in the first place since her service was turned off after thinking it was a good fucking idea to move in the middle of the fucking woods alone. The killer's free hand that grasps a kitchen knife borrowed from the victim's knife set is brought up and slowly glides across the middle of her neck not penetrating enough to actually kill her but the CGI makes the life drain from her eyes and leak out of her neck in a bloody mess as she falls limp and tumbles to the ground dead.

It's so mundane every time when you know how real shit is.

"Told you." I mumble into my glass with a bored eye roll as I take a sip of my cheap wine

The taste of the new in the fridge but old on the store shelf wine makes me grimace a little from the off tasing flavors it has but it's something to loosen the veins in my body and get that good tainted blood as I call it flowing to relax me further into the ragged but comfy couch cushions that could swallow me whole in the loose strings and worn out threads if I allowed it to. Nothing in my apartment is that nice even though I live in one of the better apartments of the city, New York City to be exact. My check comes every other week from working at a bookstore that is a little unnoticeable so we don't get many costumers except for a few teenage kids, elderly people looking to fill their time of retirement, men trying to learn how to cook for their date, and new soon-to-be parents buying 'How-to' books so this generation couldn't get any fucking worse even though it won't work and it will indeed, get fucking worse.

Because we were all fucked from the start.

Especially me.

Eventually, I convince myself to do something productive with my day instead of staying cooped up in my two bedroom, one bath shit hole that is so comforting at times, I forget an actual world exists outside of the cold stone walls surrounding me. I decide to stop procrastinating the inevitable decision that makes me shove myself up from the cushions that are warm with my body heat to stretch my arms above my head, raise myself on my toes, and let a muscle stretching, pleasurable grunt pass through my parted lips in a sigh when I feel my mind get light as the polluted air. The breath drops my arms to my thighs in a clap that starts my walk to the kitchen with the wine glass in my hand that is still a little full so, I lift the thin rim to my lips and toss my head back to consume the rest of the blood thinner and I rinse it out to sluggishly make my way to my bedroom after pausing to turn off the horrible, predictable movie.

That's three dollars and two hours I'm not getting back.

On my way to my room, I think about going to the only place I go to besides the bookstore which is the cafe that is down the road a little. Barron's Cafe that I always visit to finish work assignments, create schedules, ponder my life choices, wonder how I got here with my life, and simply stare out into the street to watch people walk by. My bedroom is not that decorated with a bed in the center, nightstands on each side with French styled balcony doors hidden behind awful see through curtains that do nothing besides make the morning sunlight worse. A closet is on my right from standing in the doorway and a bookshelf is to my left with a bathroom right in front of my bed and I know, it's not the most satisfying room but it's better than the smaller one across the hall.