Those Ocean Eyes and That Charming Smile

019

With the windows rolled down despite the cold and the radio turned up as high as our ears will allow, Natasha and I sing our hearts out to different songs that lift our self esteem and singing like I just went through a breakup and I'm single even though I am far away from that. Currently blasting through the red convertible that Nat spends her days pampering, are a bunch of feel good songs that are fun to listen to as Nat races down the road, weaving in and out of cars who honk at her insane driving that apparently offended them. She drives up to the parking garage that is connected to one of the bigger shopping malls of New York which intimidates me a little as I turn down the radio despite her protests but I feel like the people walking in the echoing garage would thank us.

"Okay, so what's the plan?" I ask as she puts the car in park

"Uhh." Natasha sits back in her seat and drops her hands to her thighs with smack, thinking of where we should go first

"I'll take that as an 'I don't know.'" I laugh and get out of the car

"What?! No!" She exclaims as she rushes out of the car as well. "I just don't know if I want to get clothes or dresses first." She says as she jogs to catch up to me

"Why don't we get clothes first and take a break for lunch then shop for dresses and shoes." I propose an idea that is easy and gives us a break in between

"Good idea." She smiles, obviously not having a plan and was hoping that I came up with one

"Great." I smile back and feel my phone vibrate in my pocket as we walk across the road in a skywalk so we can see the road below us. "Shit." I mutter and dig my phone out of my right pocket to see Bucky's name on my screen

Bucky: Did you make it there safely???

Me: Yes, I'll see you soon, my love :)

"Bucky?" Nat assumes and looks over my shoulder

"Yeah." I sigh and glance at her while typing out my response. "He's just worried." I say and tuck my phone away before sighing when I see the amount of people in the building and in the stores

I have never been a big fan of huge crowds, especially in malls.

That's when people get rude and get too close for comfort.

"Did he have another nightmare?" She asks and turns to the right towards a clothing store I don't recognize

"Mhm." I nod. "It wasn't that bad but it was about me so I guess it can be put in the same category." I shrug

"Was it about HYDRA torturing you?" She assumes again and my head whips her way as she stares ahead already looking at the clothes in the display cases of the store

"Yeah, how did you know?" I ask with a little shock

"When you go through torture and deal with nightmares, sometimes the people you love can get sucked into those and create a whole new nightmare." She explains while looking at a white sweater but grimaces at the feel and puts it back on the rack. "Itchy." 

"I wish he would tell me what happens during them be he refuses to even tell me that I was in it sometimes and shuts down." I admit and shove my hands in my pocket. "I hate seeing him suffer with it alone." I mutter and we walk down a few steps before stopping in front of more sweaters and jackets

"He does it to protect you and so he doesn't have to remember when he's done talking and crying about it." She piles some clothing over her arm already making up her mind and not bothering to look at the prices

"You're right." I sigh and follow her through the store occasionally holding up clothing that catches my eye

When something does catch my eye, it makes Nat freak out when she sees something I may like and rushes over to grab the hanger with her hand I thought were lost in the pile of fabric slung around her arms but, she holds up he pants, shorts, or jacket up to my body and smiles wide, nodding as she mutters some things before tossing it in the cart without me getting a say. I trust her judgement and told her some things I wanted like figure fitting and clothes that will do my ass justice even though she told me it was served when I put on my pants this morning. That got me to look in the mirror where the shoes are while she went off and picked out different jeans for her and me since I hate shopping for jeans. I was checking every angle of my hips that had small dips and feeling the small cellulite on my thighs through the rips. It makes me frown a little when I see imperfections in my tattoo but a text from Bucky saying how pretty I was when I left made me feel better and it was almost as if he known I wasn't feeling good.