Those Ocean Eyes and That Charming Smile

107

With more days passing and reaching almost two weeks without seeing Bucky, I thought I would begin to feel a little bit better about everything but I was absolutely wrong when every little thing just sets me off. When I was growing up, I did have problems with anger and lashed out on everyone but after my mama got me talking, she found out that I was just sad and I couldn't process my emotions correctly like everyone else. She said my anger was the reflection of my sadness since they are opposites and anger was the closest thing I could get to expressing my true feelings and that's what's happening now as I sit at the island with Steve and Clint standing in front of me on the other side and Sam sitting next to me.

"Hey, Y/n." Clint speaks while walking to the fridge to grab two apples as Steve grabs two plates and silverware. "Do you want some apple slices?" He asks with a small smile

"Mmm." I sigh heavily and rest my cheek on my propped up hand, watching Steve walk into the pantry to grab the peanut butter

"Yeah?" He waits for my answer

"Sure." I eventually nod and for whatever reason, that makes him smile wide and begin cutting the apples

"And a little peanut butter on the side?" He adds in a playful voice to make me smile as well but it sets me off instead

"Fucking! Of course, I want peanut butter, Clint!" I exclaim angrily and slam my hand down on the table where the three of them just look at me wide eyes and watch the navy blue sparkles that shot out of my palm slide across the shiny marble counter top. "Shit." I let out a few huffs of air after watching the magic and I slump my shoulders, burying my head in my hands. "I'm sorry." I sigh in to my hands before feeling Sam's hand land on my back to rub small circles that my body slightly moves with

"You don't need to apologize, kiddo." Clint says and resumes his apple cutting

"I do." I disagree and lift my head. "I do because it's not fair to you guys that I yell and get angry and I'm sorry."

"We understand, Y/n." Steve nods. "We know that you are going through it harder than us. We know that you are not used to this." He bleeds with sympathy that I can't show myself

Sam continues to rub my back and it feels comforting so I let him continue on while Clint slides one plate over to me while Steve scoops some peanut butter and taps the spoon on my plate to get the thick spread off. I nod at their words after having too many thoughts screaming at me and my jaw doesn't open to let them come out and I don't think I could even if I tried so I sit silently and slowly eat my apple slices and peanut butter. The offer of making hot chocolate is made but I shake my head after drinking so many cups, I feel like my intestines are made out of marshmallows and cocoa at this point so more apples are sliced and everyone is enjoying their snack when JARVIS' voice interrupts us all.

"Captain Rogers, it seems that Sergeant Barnes' vitals are declining at a rapid pace." JARVIS informs us and I feel my heart drop when Steve and I connect wide eyes and there is a second where all four of us look at each other before I jump out of my seat and bolt for the stairs with Steve keeping up with me and the other two running as fast as they can

"JARVIS, unlock Bucky's door." I demand while lifting my healing magic

"I am afraid I'm incapable of doing so." He declines

"What?" Steve blurts out and skips two steps like me. "Why? Unlock his door, JARVIS."

"Sergeant Barnes has asked me to not unlock his door for anyone under any circumstance." He replies

"His vitals are declining!" I exclaim his words back to him, now running down the long hallway but it doesn't seem like the shit tech wants to work. "Unlock his fucking door!" I demand again