Those Ocean Eyes and That Charming Smile

181

I mean, I should've known this was going to happen.

Nightmares don't just don't go away after replenishing all of your memories and bringing life back to your relationship with your boyfriend where it feels like you were reborn and nothing can hurt you now. I knew they would hit harder afterwards and it's like the ones from my deeper past have resurfaced and slammed into my brain where I am now screaming as I am strapped to a chair and forced to watch with me unable to wake up because sometimes, you can force yourself to wake up if you don't like a dream or feel uneasy, right?

Or am I just that fucking crazy, I'm losing my mind both in and out of sleep?

Losing myself in my mind as in seeing vivid sickening smiles that don't regret a single fucking inhuman thing, hearing my own torturous screams that wake Bucky up in a fright, ready to fight as I can feel every nerve inside of my body burn up into a crisp ash to fall off and break when it hits the floor. Not my muscles when my sleeping body jerks under the sheets that Bucky rips off and throws them to the end of the bed where they slip off the floor after he just about fell out of his sleep.

Literally.

He blinks his eyes open to rid the blurriness trying to mess him up when he kneels on the bed and grabs my sleeping face that scrunches and frowns before letting out blistering cries of help while I am stuck in my head, unable to break free until it is over. My chest is going a million miles a minute between grunted screams and a metal hand is placed on my chest to help but it's too heavy and I can't push it away when my hands feel like they weigh heavier than a ton that stays cemented to the crumpled sheets around me. Soon enough, the hours of torture and pain that was ten minutes for Bucky talking softly to me and was slowly working me through the memory that ends and my eyes blink open to look around fearfully.

"Hey, hey, hey." Bucky tips his chin up and looks down his nose to catch my eyes and he smiles when he does. "Shh, it's okay. We're alright." He starts to slowly calm me down with his right hand stroking the top of my head

"Ugh. I-it hurts." I groan a stutter from my body twitching at the effects of my memory

"What hurts?" He asks with a slightly cocked eyebrow but I say nothing and continue to grunt out my panted breaths. "Tell me, sweetheart, what's hurting you so I can make it better?" His blue eyes start to look up and down my sports bra and shorts covered body to find anything abnormal but there is nothing he can see

"My skin." I grunt and look down at my body that is tensing at the stomach and under Bucky's hand that slipped down to my abs that have softened out tremendously

"Okay, is it burning?" He asks and I shake my head

"S-sore." I hum at the pain in my body and it's not just my skin, it's like a layer of aching pain was shoved between my muscles and skin and it feels familiar but I don't miss it

"Alright." He hesitates a little from a new symptom he hasn't heard of and the confusion shows on his face. "Her skin is sore, okay." He mumbles to himself and looks around the bed like he'll find an answer somewhere in the cotton sheets before he looks back at me. "What do I do, baby?" He asks me always when he hits a block in the road and I tell him the same thing every time

"M-Mary-y." I shudder a breath and grit my teeth to focus on something other than my body jerking and hurting worse than my memory

"Mary." He nods and snaps his hand to the nightstand to grab his phone and dial her number with one hand. "Just hold on for me, babe. I'm getting her." He promises me and I nod as best as I can

"Hur-ry." I whisper and he nods vigorously then sighs when Mary picks up the phone

"Mother?" He frowns when he hears her voice because he is scared that I'm below feeling perfect and now in the comfort of our mother makes his serious shell break. "Please, she's not feeling good and I don't know what to do." He glances at me then looks away while turning his body towards the door with his left hand still on my stomach. "She had a nightmare and says her skin is sore but that's never happened so I don't know what to do and I need help, Mary, please." He whispers the last part