Those Ocean Eyes and That Charming Smile

188

It's another morning and another morning bathroom trip where a lot of the redness in my stomach has gone down and the stitches on my stomach look like they are not drowning in swollen skin. It was a relief to sit up with Bucky's help and not feel much pain besides deep in my abdomen where the cream couldn't penetrate so I guess it's magic and natural healing for that but, it doesn't upset me because Thor went out and developed this for me with his mother and brother so if anything, I owe him everything for healing me and cutting down the days where I can take off the patches and rip out all of these tubes.

Can't wait for that mother fucking day.

For this morning, my gauze was taken off to let my staples breathe, my clothes were changed, my bags of blood and fluid were cleaned out, and I was ready for breakfast that didn't last long when I threw up right in the middle of the first syringe that wasn't close to making it to the halfway point before my body rejected it and disposed of the gross shake plus the small amounts of blood. It worries Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Tony who are all still sitting at the table while the moms are out doing mom things along with Natasha and the boys are at school on this perfect holiday.

I never liked Halloween.

From my experience, I was either always injured or practiced religious activity.

Thanks mom and dad for that.

"She's not getting anything down." Bucky whispers harshly to Steve who's stands at the refrigerator, calmer than an ocean with no wind

"She's got her crushed ice that seems to have no problem with her." Steve replies to bring some positive into the negative and I roll my eyes while feeding myself spoonfuls of said crushed ice he got for me after he crumpled the plastic bag in his hands

So much money but we don't have an ice crusher.

"Food." He corrects angrily. "She needs food. You know, nutrients? Vitamins? Before she starts losing weight." He keeps his voice down

"I'm trying, Buck." He sighs

"She has a fucking eating disorder and already struggles with her weight. I don't need this on top of her." He verbally spits

"I hope you guys know, I can hear you." I finally speak up and look over at the guilty soldiers

"Baby." Bucky drops his shoulders and comes over to me with a frown. "I'm just worried. It's day two of no food and it's scaring me." He admits

"We will find a way." I move my left hand to his and he holds it while being careful of the IV still connected after Bruce ordered extra fluids since I can't stomach anything. "We're alright."

"Have we tried juices?" Tony suggests an idea and it catches Steve's attention when he pulls out his phone for a moment. "Maybe the shakes are too thick on her stomach." He shrugs

"No, she can't have anything besides water and her nutrition shakes with her strict diet" Steve shakes his head in regret. "Not even her flavored water she loves so much." He murmurs then purses his lips and types something on his phone

"I'm good with my ice." I say and drop Bucky's hand to grab the small bowl and eat more of the chilled breakfast that doesn't suit my needs but, it's filling my stomach so I take what I can get

"If we don't find something in the next ten minutes, we're going to the clinic and seeing Layla to see what she can do." Bucky decides and I nod in agreement, knowing I need food if I want to heal anytime soon and I mean naturally

"Great." I sigh when Bucky walks away and goes back to looking through the fridge to see if there is anything comparable to what they can feed me

The idea of watered down yogurt was brought up and I grimaced before Steve saved me and said it has fruit chunks in it. There was another idea of milk but it lacked everything else I needed besides calcium so they couldn't just fill me up with that. There was even blended oatmeal with Steve's protein powder added and Bruce's crushed vitamins but, we ruled that one out, knowing that the thickness will make me throw up and I have already cried at that pain enough for one morning, not to mention Bruce's vitamins he lets no one touch.