"Don't leave her." I beg one of the main characters of the movie playing. "It sucks."
Another sleepless night that hasn't bothered me one bit as I sit at my desk with my knees up to my chest, currently trying to stop myself from crying my already swollen and puffy eyes out as my laptop sits open, playing a movie and no, it isn't Inside Out because that movie now reminds me of Bucky every time I watch it only making me cry harder when I did put it on. I sit in sweatpants and a sweatshirt with my hair up and out of my face, sitting on top of my head in a nest of light brown hair while my cheek is smushed against my knee and I feel the soreness and red mark when the blood rushes back as someone knocks on my door.
"Come in." I speak in a cracked voice before I clear my throat and watch my door open to reveal Natasha who has a soft smile on her face
"Hey." Natasha slips in and closes my door while pushing her blonde hair behind her ears and I pause my movie but not before she leans over and looks at the screen. "Are you willingly watching New Moon?" She asks
"Yeah." I sigh. "It just got to the part where Edward leaves Bella after she got hurt by Jasper." I quickly explain while looking at Edward telling Bella he doesn't want her
"I've watched the series." She reassures me that I don't need to explain. "But, really? No one ever watches New Moon unless there's a marathon on tv or they're going through it."
"I will go with the last one." I raise my finger and lean back in my seat
"Right, sorry." She clears her throat and looks down at her feet. "Listen, I came to apologize for last night." She starts
"I didn't talk to you last night." I furrow my eyebrows, now confused
"I mean with the whole-" She waves her hands in the air before dropping them to her thighs in a sigh. "When you and Steve came back from the mission." She elaborates
"Oh." I hum and nod once. "Don't worry about it, it's fine." I wave my hand and look back at my laptop, getting ready to resume my movie
"No, please, don't say that." She frowns and it catches my attention
"What?" I ask and turn my chair towards her
"Saying you're fine when you obviously are not fine." She huffs while placing her hands on her hips. "And don't tell me you are okay either." She says before I can form my lips to say those exact words
"Okay, fine." I sigh and toss my head back. "I'm not fine or okay. I am so miserable and fed up with feeling like shit all of the time so I just convince myself that I am fine because I think it will make me-" I stop and press my lips in a line at loss for correct words. "I don't know." I shrug
"сестра, you cannot disassociate yourself like this. You cannot disconnect yourself from life or your feelings." She says softly
"Natasha, I don't know what to do anymore." I shake my head. "I am so close to cutting off my own magic so I am not strong enough to kick down his door." I admit almost angrily
"I understand, Y/n. I really do." She nods and reaches for my hand. "Why don't we have a girl's day and get our hair or nails done?" She suggests with a hopeful smile
"No." I practically cut her off and bring my hand to my chest in a protective way. "No, only he paints my nails and I don't want to leave."
"Okay, I'm sorry." She apologizes with soft green eyes. "We don't have to go out."
"Can I-" I sigh and drop my head to my knees. "Can I just watch my movie, please?" I whisper
"Y-yeah, of course." She nods and sets her hand on my shoulder, squeezing once. "I-I'll be down in the training room if... if you need anything."
YOU ARE READING
Those Ocean Eyes and That Charming Smile
Fanfiction"You're staring." Bucky speaks with some insecurity in his voice "You can't blame me, Barnes." I shake my head with a smirk. "You're just a sight I don't want to look away from." I flirt and he chuckles what sounds like a sigh of relief as he walks...
