BOOK 2
SEQUEL TO LIGHTS OUT - SPOILERS - MAKE SURE YOU READ BOOK ONE FIRST
That day in Abu Dhabi changed everything. Her secrets may no longer be her own, but the real battles have only just begun. Having such a renowned and experienced teammate, th...
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trigger warning for most of this chapter as it deals with mental health issues and mentions of suicide. if either of these topics make you uncomfortable, then i advise you to skip this chapter. as always, i am here if any of you need to talk at any point with zero judgement. i'm here for you and you are loved ❤️
thank you for 150k!
~***~
At this very moment, the engineers would be making the final adjustments to the car before sending it out onto the Silverstone circuit for the first Formula One practice session of the weekend. I sent out multiple texts of good luck and hopes of a safe session, including to Max and to the man filling in my seat on this occasion, Esteban Gutierrez. I would've preferred to be getting ready, too, which is a rare feeling nowadays. Instead, I was on my way to a Psychiatrist who was going to suggest a more medical course of treatment alongside my therapy. Going to the doctors always tied my stomach in knots, and the high temperatures exceeding twenty-five degrees when it wasn't even midday certainly didn't help.
My appointment was scheduled for quarter-past ten and due to last between twenty and thirty minutes in length. It was clear to anyone that it was a Grand Prix weekend as the roads around Silverstone were significantly busier. The drive, which should've only taken twenty minutes, was nearing the forty-five minute mark and we were still not there. I was grateful to have Lizzie driving because I don't think I'd have the patience in this heat needed to drive. From the back seat, Marcus would occasionally lean between the middle and engage with me so that I could be distracted. Despite this, nothing seemed to be stopping my bouncing leg or hammering heart. My biggest fear was that nothing could be done to help the way that I am feeling, and I wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of that. Oh, why did I have to agree to today? Next week would've been fine.
The wait in the pristinely clean waiting room was even worse. The air-conditioning system was down and so the only cooling that the room received was from the non-existent breeze coming from the window. Even though I was indoors, I wore my sunglasses down on my nose and stuck as close to Marcus's side as I could in the sticky chairs. There were other members of the public here also waiting for appointments and I could do with being recognised. The walls were a brilliant light and reflected the beaming sun well so it wasn't completely impractical to wear them. Lizzie was typing away on her laptop next to us and I couldn't help but also note her bouncing leg. If she was nervous, then I certainly was going to feel more so.
"It's not like they can stop you from driving," Marcus whispered in an attempt to reassure me.
I opened my mouth to reply but Lizzie piped up, her eyes unmoving from her laptop. "Actually, they might. If they deem her a risk to herself, then the FIA could remove her super license from her for the time being. The last thing they need is an intentional crash."
