Away We Go • 2 • Formula One

Chapter 50

please engage throughout! every vote and comment really makes what i do so much more rewarding.

~***~

The first few days in Switzerland didn't involve much talking between Max and I. In all honesty, we didn't really do anything. It was so comforting just being in his presence and there wasn't anything that needed to be said that couldn't be portrayed through small actions of love. Whether it be him tucking my hair behind my ear as he walks by me focused on my laptop, or me pressing a soft kiss to his temple to help ease his mid-work frustrations - even when going about our own tasks, we're there for each other in subtle ways. The miserable weather that seemed to be a reflection of my constant mood meant that we didn't feel up for doing anything outside of the house so these little moments were often.

On Sunday, the weather finally seemed to shift and the brilliant sunshine glimmered on the calm waters of lake Geneva at the far end of the garden. I had woken up with the intentions of spending my day rewatching previous years' Hungarian Grands Prix with Murray before my evening flight. My plans were quick to change when I felt the sun's warmth through the large windows - I wanted to spend some time outside.

I was lucky enough to have a garden that stretched out towards the lake, a small, private pebble beach declining into the clear waters. A little before mid-day, Max had already set up his towel on the pebbles. He was relaxing in just his swimming trunks after a morning dip in the water. I just stayed in the shelter of inside, watching him for a while as I willed myself to pluck up the courage to join him. Max had seen me in less than a bikini before, but he hadn't seen my body so exposed since before the miscarriage. Even when we shared that bath, I was mostly obscured by the bubbles and my body wasn't on show. I knew I shouldn't be insecure about my appearance; I couldn't help it. My skin, although as pale as normal, had a greyish hue to it that made me look sick. The bruises and incision had almost completely healed on my abdomen but my eyes were always drawn to the area whenever I caught my reflection. I hated that no matter how much time has passed, I'll always remember that traumatic event.

"Schatje," Max called in a sing-song voice, the gentle breeze carrying it through the open back door. I folded my arms a little tighter across my chest and let out a small sigh. The towel that was wrapped around my body with the intention of laying it on the pebbles was the only thing that would stop Max from seeing my body. "Come join me."

"Be there in a sec," I shakily replied. I had no way of knowing if he heard me as I tried to pluck up the courage to join him. The sun was just so enticing and warm; I couldn't resist. I glanced back to Murray, who was fast asleep on the sofa, and couldn't help the small smile ghat formed on my face at his cuteness. Taking a deep breath, I took a step out into the open air. My hair was in a high ponytail that blew lightly in the wind as I hesitantly walked towards the end of the garden. The soft grass tickled the underside of my bare feet, but the sensation was soon replaced by the dull pressure of the smooth pebbles.

Max's smile grew and he pushed his sunglasses onto the top of his head. He shifted his position so that he rested his weight on his elbows. "Did you know you get more beautiful every time I lay eyes on you?"

"Max..." I shifted my weight between my feet. His expression didn't change as he looked up at me, seemingly unfazed by my attempts to cover myself up. "I-I'm going for a swim."

"Cool, I'll join you."

My eyes widened. The pebbles underneath him clicked together as he made a move to stand up. "Wait!" I put out a hand, the other firmly held on the the fastening of my towel around my body to ensure it stayed up. Max's brow furrowed, however he didn't look too surprised by my outburst. "Could you just, I don't know, turn around until I get under the water?"