Away We Go • 2 • Formula One

Chapter 43

please don't forget to vote and comment throughout!
there is also a long ass a/n at the end, just warning you  x

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I stifled what felt like the hundredth yawn and it wasn't even time to get into the car yet. My hand shielded my mouth from view in an attempt to hide the involuntary action as it threatened to creep out of my mouth again. I couldn't help it; not only were the interviews repetitive with questions ("can you give us more information on your current situation?", "are you sure you're fit to get back to racing?", "has what happened changed your outlook on the future?") and therefore the answers I gave ("I don't feel comfortable sharing anything more than what I said in my social media posts", "I'm as fit as I've always been", "it hasn't changed my outlook on my future career and I'm still striving for the same goals"), but I was starting to feel the effects of only four hours sleep. If I didn't have Damien by my side, nudging me whenever my focus started to drift, I doubt I would've given a coherent interview. I seemed to have more interviews than any other driver who crossed my path. It made me feel like I was on the back foot as I finally started my preparation for the first practice session.

"You know," Damien began as I flopped onto the sofa in my driver room. My head immediately rested against the pillow I had propped on the arm of the sofa so that I could lay down comfortably, "you could at least try and look excited for this weekend. What's going on with you anyway? Well, besides the obvious." His voice dropped as he eluded to the topic of my miscarriage.

I didn't want to let it show that I was struggling because I'm sure what I'm feeling will pass with time. The fewer people I bother with it would mean the fewer people that worry. Damien has already made it clear that he has a lot of extra work to deal with because of what happened in Canada, and I feel guilty enough as it is. I couldn't hold back the yawn and I closed my eyes, my fingers making the perfect barrier between my eyes and the bright light. "I'm just knackered, D, that's all. It's been a long two weeks."

The sofa dipped near my tucked legs so I knew that Damien had perched there. His hand gently rested on the side of my thigh and rubbed soothing circles. "And how are you and Max?"

"We're doing well," I answered, hoping my answer was vague enough to not prompt any follow-up questions. As much as I love Damien with all (well, at least most) of my heart, he would not be able to keep secrets from our best friends. Marcus would be judgmental; I know how he feels about Max after everything that happened last year. Kudzai wouldn't be able to keep the news from Esteban, who will probably accidentally announce it to the entire paddock. Whilst I don't necessarily mind people knowing about my engagement to Max, we still want to keep our relationship on the down-low. The more people to know increases the chances of it getting out into the media, and I do not have the energy to cope with any of that. Our relationship was so much easier without the stress of people knowing and judging.

"That's good to hear. Max really pulled out all of the stops to show you how he felt, huh?"

My heart dropped slightly and I suddenly panicked that my plaster had fallen off of my finger. "In what way?" I tried to keep my upper body as straight as possible as to not pull my almost-healed wound

"The beach house," Damien answered, voice wavering in confusion. His eyes squinted slightly and he tilted his head to the left. "Why? What other way would there be?"

"Oh, nothing," I innocently shrugged my shoulders, "I just wasn't aware you knew about that."

Damien hummed, however I knew it wasn't fully convinced. Despite this, he didn't dwell on it for any longer. "Riki said that you need to be in the garage with fifteen minutes to spare before practice, and that they're probably going to run you with a setup that's suited to rain because of the forecast for Saturday and Sunday. He said you have done some practice with a similar downforce before so you should be okay on track. If I were you, I'd head down soon. With all the extra presence in the garage from this being Monaco, you might need some more time."