Away We Go • 2 • Formula One

Chapter 27

It was no surprise that the cameras wanted to focus on me. Because I had managed to qualify in the top three, I was forced to do an initial interview. It was the last thing I wanted to do when I was trembling with anger. I kept my helmet on despite attempts to talk to me, only answering with shakes or nods of the head. Trusting myself to not explode and say every thought running through my head was impossible, so I refused to take off my helmet. I let Seb and Charles enjoy the moment, subsequently cutting my interview short.

The once laid-back mood of the garage had completely shifted when I finally returned. Everyone wore a similar, stony expression, however no one could look as pissed off as Toto... except maybe me. My jaw was clenched so hard my teeth were aching but I couldn't bring myself to relax.

I know it could have been a lot worse, but I felt as if the pole was stolen away from underneath me; all I could do was watch powerlessly. When something like this could have easily been avoided, I had every right to be this annoyed. Mistakes like this shouldn't be happening at Mercedes. I looked like a joke on track, or at least more than I usually do.

I forcefully pulled my gloves off my hand as I approached the engineer's table. After lifting my visor, I tucked my hand over the rim to create a bit of a gap so they could all hear me clearly.

Toto watched me carefully. His eyes locked with mine before I could even open my mouth. He held out his hand to silence me just as I was about to start my rant. "Go cool down for ten minutes," he demanded, voice low and surprisingly calm-sounding. His temple moved as he clenched and unclenched his jaw so I knew he was definitely still mad.

"Bu-" I went to protest but he gave a look that made me think twice.

"Calm yourself down. We'll meet in my office when you are in a better state. Don't cause a scene here; we're already the laughing stock of the paddock."

Riki, my engineer, was uncharacteristically silent. His head was low as he typed away on the laptop so I expected Toto had ripped into him a little. Bono was missing from Lewis's, well, Esteban's, side of the garage this weekend, replaced with second-in-command Marcus Dudley. He had a similar demeanour to Riki, so I suspected whatever Toto had said to Riki had been relayed to the other side of the bench.

With a huff, I turned on my heel and threw my gloves angrily to the floor. I stormed past Toto without glancing back. As soon as I was in my driver room, I released my frustrations in a scream. It was luckily muffled by my helmet, but it certainly caught Damien by surprise. Since the television was on mute, the sound still filled the room.

"Woah, woah, woah!" He exclaimed, immediately putting his laptop on the chair beside him. Damien stood up and approached me as I tried to undo the strap of my helmet. My hands were shaking so much that it took a few tries to get a good grip and finally remove my helmet. I shrugged off Damien's hand that he placed on my shoulder, not wanting any sort of contact right now.

"Can you go somewhere else, please?" I requested through a clenched jaw. My request was intended as a demand; I wanted to be alone.

"Not until you tell me what's got you so mad."

I scoffed. "You're kidding me, right?" I watched Damien's face carefully for any sign that he was joking, but his brow only seemed to furrow with a look of confusion. "Didn't you watch qualifying?"

"I-I had it on mute. I saw you got third though, that's goo-"

"No it's not good!" I yelled. "I could've had pole if someone didn't fuck up."

He frowned. "Okay, maybe tone it down a little - you're being more dramatic than I am normally, and that's saying something."

As I exhaled angrily through my nose, I shook my head in small movements. "So what if I am? I'm fucking pissed! I'm allowed to be dramatic."