Away We Go • 2 • Formula One

Chapter 36

this chapter contains topics that some people may find distressing throughout. reader discretion is advised.

please still comment throughout!

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A soft, rhythmic beeping noise drew me out of my sleep. My eyelids were aching with the bright, white light that seemed to shine directly into them, but I didn't have the energy to open them. Every single muscle in my body felt heavy, however I was relieved to no longer be in agonising pain. I could feel the firm support of a bed underneath my body and it did not feel comfortable. On the right side of my stomach, there was a dull ache. It was no where near what I had felt before... before... what happened to me? The last thing I remember was being out on track, so what am I doing in bed? It was like a thick, impenetrable fog had settled over my brain, rendering me powerless.

The beeping got faster as I tried to draw every pulse of energy into opening my eyes. With a sudden jolt, they opened, and a shaky exhale escaped my lips. Initially, I was forced to squint because the light was brighter than I had anticipated. I felt my entire face scrunch up with it as I tried to figure out where I was; this definitely wasn't my hotel room. Objects around the small room I was in started to come into focus and I quickly realised that I was in a hospital. Panic set in as adrenaline spread throughout my body, my thumping heart in my chest matched with the increasing number of beeps.

My eyes were wide and alert as a woman dressed in scrubs rushed into the room. Her eyes fell on me immediately. "Miss Archer, try and stay calm."

"Where am I?" I frantically asked, however cringed at the pain in my throat. My voice was hoarse and I didn't know how she would understand me.

"Take nice deep breaths with me, okay?" At first, I was in too much of a panic to even think about controlling my breathing. I eventually managed to get my brain back under my control and put a lot of effort into preventing myself from spiralling. She continued the breathing exercise until the beeping on the monitor slowed down to a more reasonable pace. Once satisfied, she handed me a cup of water and helped me take small sips until the fire in my throat died down. "I'm nurse Hartley, but you can call me Poppy. You're in the hospital. Do you remember why?"

I shook my head lightly, regretting the action when it made me feel like I was spinning. Poppy quickly placed a steadying hand on my shoulder as I tried to form my thoughts. "I just remember being in the car... I-" I gasped softly as a horrible thought came to mind, "did I crash?"

Poppy lightly shook her head and swallowed hard. When her lips drew into a tight line and her gaze dropped, I knew that something was wrong. I tried so hard to think back to what happened, but the only memories I have are feelings of pain. It was harder to stay calm when bad news felt inevitable than not panicking.

"Once you finished the race, you collapsed inside your car," she started slowly, voice extremely serious in tone. "You were rushed straight here and into surgery to remove your right Fallopian tube. It had ruptured because of an ectopic pregnancy, which you unfortunately miscarried..." her lips continued to move but my brain was not taking in anything. I had a miscarriage? My heart dropped in my chest and it felt as if someone had attached weights to every limb of my body. A nauseating feeling arose in my stomach and I barely gave Poppy enough warning to grab a sick bowl before everything came up. The fiery sensation came back to my throat and a vile taste filled my mouth. I suddenly felt very empty. My vision blurred with tears that eventually spilled down my hot cheeks, my sinuses burning as the urge to cry grew.

With my bottom lip trembling, I looked at the nurse. "I had a miscarriage?" My voice cracked and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of helplessness.