it starts and ends with the jordan's

Chapter 19

[Josephine's POV]

I've been in this horrid hospital for the past two nights. Anna has stopped by every night to see me but it still doesn't feel like human contact. I need to start living my life again, get in routines if I even want a chance of not relapsing any time soon. I need distractions from my thoughts and all the pain, not an empty hospital room with flowers on the nightstand echoing my silence. 

 Today is the day. I'm finally getting out of here. I know it was only 2 nights and 3 days but I can't stay here any longer. I haven't eaten anything but jello since I arrived. My nausea is unbearable. I've probably gotten sick at least 4 times a day. They've given me anti-anxiety meds anti-nausea meds and appetite boosters but all those drugs will never be able to soothe me the way Hero does. 

I'm an idiot for what I did to him. My heart breaks every time I picture that night. He just wanted to hold me in his arms on the washroom floor, moving my blonde hair off my soaked cheeks. He wanted to hold me there until all pain melted away. He wanted to shield me from the bad in the world and just keep me flushed to his chest where he knew I'd be safe. I wasn't in control of myself that night. The anxiety, PTSD, night terrors, depression, stress... literally every mental illness I have ever been diagnosed with, took over my body and pushed Hero packing. I hate myself for that and I have no clue how to make it better. All I do know if that I want to hear his voice, even just once, make sure he's as okay as he can be right now. 

I sit and wait for the clock to strike 5. That's when Anna promised she'd arrive. She knows how much I hate this place so she swore the second I was discharged she would race out of here like we just committed a hit and run.

I try to read to pass the time, my therapist says reading is a way to open the mind and shut out the world. I guess she's right. That's the way I feel about acting. Especially when I'm doing it with my slender, green eyed co-star. 

I try to read '5 feet apart'. I'm usually not a romance fan but considering the circumstances I'm in I could really use a good love story. 

5 minutes left. 5 minutes left in this small uncomfortable hospital bed with cranky nurses coming in every 10 minutes. I'm so ready to get out of here but I'm most excited to see my boy. If he'll even want to see me...

[Hero's POV]

Okay so I'm really doing this. I'm going behind Jo's back and picking her up instead of Anna. I don't know how I tricked Anna into letting this happen considering Jo not wanting to see me the first night Anna asked.  

It's 4:57, i have three minutes until i have to face Jo. I have no clue how she's going to take it but my anxiety levels are through the roof. I pull my car into the closet parking spot to the door Jo's going to be brought out of. I stand there outside the car waiting, popping my knuckles as if each pop will release every fear of how the next few minutes can play out.

My breathing stops and my knees go weak when I see the blonde hair through the window. She's escorted to the sidewalk in front of the hospital. The doctors head inside and Jo looks around the parking lot for Anna's car and once her eyes hit me her face drops. I have no clue if she's going to cry, bolt or walk over and punch me but I'm anxiously waiting for her next move.

[Josephine's POV]

I step outside the humid air of Atlanta. The air conditioning in the hospital is one thing I was super grateful for. It has to be at least 35 degrees celsius. I scan the parking lot for Anna's car and my eyes hit something a little to familiar. Hero.

I can tell he's a nervous wreck just by looking at him. He's popping his knuckles, he has his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and he's swaying back and forth occasionally wiping his hands on his thighs. He probably thinks I'm going to blow up on him, but I can't be mad. I can never be mad at him for all he does for me. I missed him more than anything.

I stand frozen for awhile staring at him until I couldn't take the tension anymore. I sprint through the parking lot and jump in his arms. Wrapping my hands around his neck and legs around his waist. I move one of my hands up the back of his neck to comfort him from all the anxiety this probably gave him. I nuzzle my nose in the crook of his neck and the second his scent hits me it's over barring. Just being in his arms is the break through I've been trying to get at. I want to be better, not only for him but for me now. I want to make this boy as happy as he makes me.

Hero wraps his arms super tightly around my back. He releases a huge sigh I couldn't tell he was holding in. I don't blame him though, if I was in his position I would be losing it from anticipation. 

"Well good to see you too." He chuckles into my hair. 

I don't want to leave this position, wrapped onto him as if my life depended on it. 

I can't hold onto my outburst of laughter. This feeling is so beautifully chaotic. I truly did think he would be mad at me but I'm so glad he's back to being my safe sanctuary where he can be whatever I need, just like he promised. 

"It's like a trillion degrees out here we're going in the car." 

Just as I'm about to step down from Hero's embrace he grabs my leg and places it back around him. 

"Nah-ah-ah your not going anywhere, don't even think about it." 

I giggle again. I truly can not get over the fact that I've gone a week without being held by him. It's been to long.

Hero walks over to the car and opens the drivers seat. He gets in taking me with him. Now that he's sitting I'm put on his lap and all I can manage to do his rest my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. This beautiful heart and it's love for me has saved my soul and I will forever be grateful. I owe my life to this man. 

"You alright love?"

"Ya just thinking..."

"About what?" 

"How big of a bitch I was to you, Hero you've got to believe me I wasn't aware of what I was saying. I was freaking out and you were there so I took everything, all my big buckets of built up anger and tossed them onto you and it wasn't fair of me to do that. I'm so sorry Hero I didn't mean any of it. I'm going to recover and it's going to be a long and painful rode but I need you. I need you here to hold me and to make me laugh. Please, please don't leave me. I couldn't picture my life without you in it." He stops my rambling by lifting my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

"No matter how hard you push me away, I'm never going to leave you Jo. You have no right to feel the need to apologize. You were stuck in the heat of the moment and you were overwhelmed. You have so much on your plate, apologizing to me shouldn't be one of them. Okay love?" I sigh of relief. 

Tears drip down my cheek and another look of worry cross over Hero's face. He wipes my tears with his thumb and looks me deep in the eye.

"What's wrong baby?"

"I just am so relieved your not mad and that I haven't lost you." I whisper. 

I hide in the crook of his neck again while he rubs my back. I've been waiting for this moment. The moment where I'm back where I belong. In Hero's arms while I hide above his shoulder being consumed by his homey scent. I couldn't live without Hero and that's the truest feeling I have running through my brain. 

I fall asleep and I feel Hero lift me over the passengers seat and buckles my seatbelt. He takes such good care of me no matter what I put him through. He places his hand in mine and begins to drive back to the hotel. 

AHH guys I'm so pleased by this chapter. I am going to continue to write about Jo's recovery but I will now be incorporating more cute couples things I know we're all waiting for. Thank you for almost 1K reads that's insane! Have a good day <3