𝐌𝐢 𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐫 || 𝖳𝖾𝖼𝗁𝗇𝗈

꧁~Last Sunday~(LXI)꧂

c.61

(Major, Heavy TW later on)

It was a cooler August day, the sun hiding behind the clouds, and a breeze that ruffled the leaves.

The girl knew the winds, fast or slow, that blew past, was the first sign of the fall and winter months to come.

It was a Sunday, like any other Sunday for many. Wake up, go to church, return home.

But instead of sitting in a pew, listening to sermons about faith, prayers for forgiveness, or hymns of a savior, María Anderson-Carter sat on the front porch, empty stomach, her eyes on the birds soaring across the sky.

The birds she watched, crows, beautiful creatures of flight.

'The sky's the limit.'

She always found that negative saying more funny than not, simply because she was short in stature.

They say the sky's the limit when I can't even reach the top shelf.

The smile on her face, worn down, heavy.

María would usually be begging herself to hold out at this time, but not this morning, it was Sunday.

Her family was at church, her neighbors were at church, anybody that would be able to see her sitting on the porch on a normal morning, was at church.

She was alone. She didn't have to hold on any longer, she couldn't even if she tried.

The unsettling sense of helplessness washed over her.

Nothing could stop the numbness in her brain, nothing changed the fact that she felt nothing.

The smile on her face fell, a blank stare replaced the last twinkle in her eyes.

(TW: Hallucinations, Confusion, Alcohol Abuse, Underage Drinking, Disorientation, Mentions of Domestic Violence, Self Harm, Manipulation; for the rest of the chapter)

Her mother was crying. She did that a lot. Always on the verge of sobbing. Bruised face, busted lip. Cuts on her forehead from what could only have been made by a beer bottle. But nothing killed the woman more, than knowing she'd always have to look her daughter in the eyes, always make her own child see the horrors of every unfortunate reality she faced.

"Can I help?"

Only offering up a glimpse in the voice's direction, the girl listened.

"You sit there, all so numb."

"You feel like nothing to the world, and the world feels like nothing to you."

The voice had no face, not yet.

"I'll be fine, I don't need your help, this will pass soon," her voice didn't sound like her voice.

"You pretend like it will all be okay, like everything will turn out fine."

María closed her eyes, trying to rid the presence.

"Dear child, you know your world has turned to hell, you know that nothing will get better," it breathed down her neck.

Opening her eyes, tears revealed themselves.

"Look at yourself in the mirror, watch as the streaks roll down that skin of yours, watch you show signs of weakness," a hand placed on her shoulder now.