Always You || Patrick Cripps

47.

Georgia's POV

It's hard to believe that there is someone out there that is perfect for you. I believe one person can have multiple 'soulmates' in one life time. You might think someone is perfect for you, and one day, turns out they're not.

This was the case with Pat and I.

I had spent my whole life convincing myself that he was the person I was meant to end up with. That one day he would love me the way I loved him. But I had reached a point in my life where that wasn't a possibility anymore.

I was being forced to move on and find someone else that made me feel as special as he made me feel.

Someone that just gets me. Where we could have an unconditional love and a total understanding.

For me, it's about being yourself and feeling loved for being that person.

Sometimes you meet your soulmate, and it's love at first sight. Or maybe it's a gradual build up of feelings, where you can develop your admiration for this person.

Or, in my case, maybe you had already met this person you call your 'soulmate'. Maybe you grew up knowing each other and loving each other as friends.

Until you both get to a point where you can no longer be 'just friends' without the awkwardness and tension that follows it.

All I wanted was someone who noticed my small quirks. Someone who finds my mind as fascinating as my heart. Someone who gets sweaty hands when they are around me.

Where their heart starts racing and they get butterflies. And their breath gets shaky whenever I'm around. Someone who wants to be close to me always.

I wanted to feel worthy of love, but now I didn't. Because I was being rejected by someone who knew me the best.

How could I love myself and what people were seeing of me when my confidence had been shot down the way it was. If someone who knew me better than anyone else in the world couldn't love me like that. How could anyone else love that way?

It was the consistency of these thoughts that bothered me. I didn't want to feel this way about my future, but how was I supposed to believe I could love someone else as deeply as I loved Pat. That was it, I didn't think I ever would.

Without any reassurance from Pat ever in our time of being friends, I was always left to guess.

For some reason, Pat always kept his feelings inside and it was one of the most frustrating parts about being his best friend. Unless it was about me, he would always tell me how he felt about people and how he was constantly feeling.

But I didn't want to know about that. I didn't care about the other stuff there was only one thing I wanted to know.

I wanted to know how he felt towards me. He once told me he used to be in love with me and there was still that part of me wondering if that was still the case, but I was never going to ask.

I had done enough to put myself out there and get his attention.

Now it was his turn.

I wondered why people always took advantage of my good heart? Was I that naive that I can only ever see the good in people, only for them to hurt me down the line.

It hurt even more because it was Pat. Someone that knew me so well, someone I thought would never hurt me.

I had been ghosted before, guys didn't call, didn't follow up, it just happened. And it hurt, but this was different.

This wasn't some guy that I met at a bar or on the street. This was Patrick we were talking about. He gave me false hope, dragged me in until he got what he wanted, and then left me high and dry.