Always You || Patrick Cripps

21.

Georgia's POV

Not talking to Pat is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Having someone as a constant in your life and them disappearing just like that.

It hurt.

It hurt not to have him there when I needed someone to tell me it was going to be okay. Or when I needed someone to make me laugh when I was down.

Or to tell me that I'm making a stupid decision and talk some sense into me.

All the things we used to do together, now just distant memories.

The day that Josh first arrived in Melbourne, I knew he went over to see him. I knew exactly what he was doing the moment he asked for my car keys.

And I believed him when he said it would get better.

And it had. I was feeling better about the whole situation. I was eating better, sleeping longer and feeling healthier in general.

I had been focusing more on myself because now I had no one else to worry about.

At least for now.

I was looking forward to the fast approaching holidays. I was going to spend it with Josh who was taking time off because of his injury.

Also possibly because he was still worried about me.

Tash and Grace were taking time off too so I was going to have lots of good people around me. Hopefully making me feel full of happiness.

Holidays were only a day away, because I was heading in for my last day of school.

Only one more day until I could stop pretending.

Stop pretending to be perfectly fine. I definitely felt better, but I knew it wouldn't be back to normal for a while.

In fact, I wasn't really sure when it would be. What had to happen for me to feel normal again was unclear.

Maybe there was no normal anymore. Not with Pat and I. Not with me. Not with anything.

Nothing was the same as it used to be. And I missed what my life used to be like.

The life where I could talk to him about anything. We could have normal conversations and maybe he would even look me in the eye.

I wish I could go back to a time where I chose to tolerate Lily. Because back then, that's what was best for my friendship. Now I didn't even have a choice.

Because I was clearly out of the picture.

She was there with him all the time now. She had him. And I didn't.

It's what she always wanted. The life she always dreamed of. And now she had it. And he didn't even realise.

I keep so much pain inside myself. I grasp my anger and loneliness and hold it in my chest. It has changed me in ways I never wanted to change.

I never wanted this change. But sometimes things like this are brought upon us. And now I was just expected to be okay with it? I couldn't understand any of it. It made no sense in my mind.

I drove into work with hope that seeing the smiling faces of my students would cheer me up again. It didn't so much last time, but I was in a much worse state then.

For a second it did. Seeing other people other than my brother and the girls. But those thoughts I had that day controlled me.

Now I felt different.

I walked through the school until I got to my classroom. The halls were already filled with kids saying goodbye to their parents as we all prepared for the bell to go.