Always You || Patrick Cripps

23.

Patrick's POV

"What exactly happened Josh?" Mum asked him.

"It just hit her. It just came out of nowhere and hit her" he said in disbelief that this had happened. Shaking his head as he spoke.

"Is she okay?" Dad asked.

The silence in the room turned to mild panic. Josh shook his head but shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know.

"She's on the way to hospital. Are you guys coming or not?" He said rushingly trying to get us out of the house while we were all processing what he just told us.

"We're all going" Mum said as she made everyone get up and rush out the door with Josh.

I almost felt numb with fear. My quietness at the table transferred to the hallway of the house as I tried to leave.

To come so close to pure love and lose it so violently is something no medication can heal.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing she left this world on my account. Because of something I said to her. Knowing that our last exchange of words wasn't an I love you.

I have loved that girl since the day I knew how to. I didn't show it. I knew that. But that didn't mean I didn't love her with every ounce of my body.

There was just other things in my life that controlled my conscience. Things that required all my love and care. There were other things I cared about.

But now that this had happened, this was the only thing I now cared about.

I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I was responsible. The reason she was in that ambulance is because she came to talk to me, and I turned her away. Because I decided that Lily was more important.

And I couldn't regret that decision more than I did right now.

My heart was broken, what was beating in my chest was merely a mass of angry muscle that will function only until I can know she's okay.

It should have been me. I should be the one in her position. This is not how I imagined one of us going.

I thought it would be us sending the other off when we merely grew old to function.

Once we had been in love and grown old together. When we had done life and everything it had to offer. When all we could do was sit around and relax in each other's presence.

It wasn't supposed to happen now. Not like this. Not for a very long time.

I was being irrational. I knew no more information about it than Josh did. And he knew nothing. For all I knew, she could be sitting up in a hospital bed after regaining consciousness.

But the chances of that happening were slim to none. That's why I needed to get there to find out what I could do to get her back.

I ran after my family who were filing into the car.

All of them were wiping tears away, hoping others wouldn't see the pain they felt just from a couple of words.

Nobody actually knew if she would be okay. It was just the fear of losing someone so important that had us all rattled.

I walked down the hall of the house to run out the door and get into the heavily packed car. That's when a hand was placed on my chest. I looked up to see Lily stopping me at the doorway.

"Where do you think you're going? You're not allowed to talk to her remember" she said loudly with a frown.

"She's just been in an accident Lily! She might die because of me and you still have the nerve to tell me I can't be around her. God I never should have done what you asked, and I definitely should never have gotten back together with you" I yelled at her finally speaking up from my silence.