Always You || Patrick Cripps

63.

Georgia's POV

Today is the day. The traitorous day I had been waiting for, for a few weeks now.

I sighed as I shut my suitcase for the last time, finally making sure I had everything I needed.

It had only just hit me this very morning. I understand that packing boxes and booking flights could also contribute. But this was it. This is the day.

Today I was going to get on a plane and never look back. I was optimistic about the new life I was starting.

That hadn't made the past few weeks any easier. The packing up didn't take long at all and the only flight I could get was today.

So that time in between was very quiet. Without work, my life was pretty boring.

Therefore I spent the time I did have by saying my goodbyes, trying to prepare for this day.

But there was still so much time to allow myself to rethink the decision I was making. Trying to justify if I was doing the right thing.

The hardest goodbyes were of course with Marcus and my parents. Then of course there was Emma, Tash, Grace, Fish, Bella, Jack, Charlie. The list goes on.

So many people who had an impact on my life in Melbourne. They determined how my days went and effectively, how happy I was.

They made it so memorable and I am so thankful to know them. But I'm going to miss them all like crazy. They were my support system, and I struggled to let go of that.

The goodbye is bittersweet. I know I'll see them again but I also know I'm only a short flight away.

In saying that, to me, this was a big deal.

I was starting fresh without all of the familiar things I became accustomed to. I do however take comfort in knowing Josh will be there.

I'm positive he will make it a smoother journey, but I can't help but think of all of the things I would be leaving behind.

I had so many doubts that I was doing the wrong thing. Was I really about to move states to get away from the life that I used to love?

At times I felt like something was holding me back. Part of me wanted to stay in Melbourne. But I assured myself it was only the nerves talking.

I tried to tell myself it was normal. As I didn't want to go back on the choice I made, still knowing it was the right move for me.

How could I stay here and not know him. Passing him on the streets, pretending not to feel the way I do about him, how could I?

Because I did, still love him. And I think I always will, no matter how many days we spend apart.

But, after years of pain, I need a break from the toxicity.

When the time is right, and we have both healed, and forgiven each other, I will want him back in my life. This time there will be boundaries.

I will be more careful. I will finally, put myself first. I refuse to let him keep hurting me, I don't deserve to feel that hurt anymore.

So when he's ready, to be the person I deserve, I would love nothing more than for him to be part of my life. Even if it's only as friends and those feelings are not reciprocated. I think he is too special to lose.

Which is what I had done. I had lost him. Or he had lost me. Either way, it didn't matter. We were apart. Strangers. Things had changed.

And throughout my goodbyes, people asked and asked how Pat felt about my move. Was he going to miss me? Then I had to explain that we were no longer in contact.