Always You || Patrick Cripps

42.

Pat's POV

Getting home from being with Georgia, I found myself exhausted. Footy training all week, team meetings, expectations from everyone around me, all of it finally taking a toll on me.

Marcus was seated across from me and was quick to hand me a controller to the play station. Switching it on, we both started playing. Wasting as much time as we could before dinner.

My family were in Melbourne. So it was one of our only chances for the 5 of us to be together. So tonight, it was dinner at my house.

After an hour or so of lazing around, I knew I had to start getting ready. Marcus decided to go to a teammates house for a bit, but he said be back for dinner.

After he left, I started cooking dinner. I wasn't a very good cook so I was keeping it simple.

I worked tirelessly at the food until I finally heard a knock on the door. Knowing it was them, I dusted myself off quickly and jogged over to answer it.

I pulled it open to my parents gleaming faces, standing behind them were my two brothers.

"Hi" I said with a smile as they all entered one by one.

I was slightly nervous being the host. It was not my expertise and it was intimidating having to provide a meal for my family of picky eaters. Don't know how Mum does it.

We all went and sat outside on the deck, making themselves comfortable, the boys turned on the TV and watched the footy.

I returned to the kitchen quickly after, making sure I didn't burn anything. That was my one fear about the night. Knowing I would never live it down if I did burn the food.

A few minutes later, I saw mum approaching out of the corner of my eye. She sat on the stool across from me, looking like she had something to say.

"Have you talked to Georgia lately?" Mum shot out, I just rolled my eyes at her.

"Yeah why?" I said defensively.

"Just wondering" she said suspiciously.

"Why?" I asked again, this time in a more demanding tone.

"Because I know you guys have had your differences" she told me.

I knew where the conversation was going. My mum trying to push me into talking about my feelings was the last thing I wanted.

"Well we're actually fine thanks, I just saw her today" I retaliated.

I was never good at talking about touchy subjects. Georgia and I's relationship was one of those topics. I never brought it up, and hated when it did get brought up.

The second someone brought up her name, I always thought somehow they knew. That my secret was out, that they knew how much I loved her.

But that was me being irrational. Jumping to conclusions as usual.

I just don't know what I would do if she ever found out. So I kept it to myself. And trusted my family enough not to say anything.

I just don't think she would ever look at me the same if she knew.

"I'm not trying to push you Pat" she added. She was just doing what she always did. She knew when I was overthinking things and I would always go to her to talk it out.

But not about this. This was a while different situation. If I told her all of the things I was feeling, I could never trust her enough that she wouldn't accidentally let it slip.

And if it ever did, I don't know how I would carry on. Knowing she would never love me back, it was not something I was willing to let myself feel. Not that sort of pain, it was too unbearable.