Determination (Charisk) [OUTDATED]

74 - BUTTERCUPS

(CHARA POV)[F]

I woke up with Frisk nestled in my arms. It's the third night in a row. I can't say it isn't nice, but my mind keeps turning to all these dark places. All the times I... I went crazy, what happened in waterfall. The events leading up to my death.

No. You know what? The first step to getting better is wanting to. And I want to. It's not fair to Frisk if I'm still bottling up feelings about what happened to me, or to Asriel, or on the surface. All I need to do is take the first step. And damnit, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I took a shortcut out of bed, and walked over to our bag. After taking my TRAIT Stabilizers (which always tastes like a Skittles-flavored Cough Syrup), I started to get ready for another trip to Hotland. I took a shower, I changed clothes (my signature jacket would be too hot for Hotland), and attempted to brush my hair. Attempted being the key word. How do people do it? It's like trying to get pipe cleaners out of a Gyftree.

"Mmm...hey, babe." Frisk walked in while I was fighting with my hair. My hair was winning.

"Hey, did I wake you? Sorry you looked so peaceful while you were asleep."

"I felt that you weren't next to me, and I decided to see what you were up to."

"Oh, you know, just getting ready to get back to Hotland." I just decided to put my hair up in a ponytail of sorts, rather than mess with it any longer.

"Really? I thought you didn't—" I put my hands on the sides of her face.

     "I know that I'm healing, and I know that I still have a long way to go, but I can't get any better if I just stay here forever. If... If I ever want to forgive myself for the war I started, the deaths I've caused. I need to confront my dad."

     "Yeah. I understand. And Chara? I support you 100% of the way." I kissed her briefly and hugged her.

     "Thank you."

     "Anytime, Chara. I love you."

     "I love you too. Now hurry up. We have a journey to prepare for and we don't have all day."

     "Couldn't we just take a shortcut right to his house?" I shook my head.

     "It's not that simple. I need a start point, and an exact end point. The start point is easy, usually it's right in front of me. The end point however... I'd need to visualize exactly where I want to be. I have vague memories of what the throne room used to look like, but I don't know if or how it's changed."

     "And if you don't know exactly, we could end up inside a wall and instantly suffocate."

     "Or die from potassium deficiency."
 
     "Potassium deficiency?"

     "Both could be viable options. Teleportation is tricky."

     "Welp, I guess there's no time like the present." After a few minutes, both Frisk and I were ready. My new guitar was put into Frisk's interdimensional phone storage (I don't think I'll ever get used to that.) and we were all set.

     For some reason, finding a shortcut between here and where we were last was tricky. Shortcuts are determined by my location and the exact point in space I want to show up. Almost every time, the start of a shortcut is right in front of me, and I only need to take a few steps to get to it. But...

"I can't find it."

"What do you mean you can't find it?"

"I mean I can't find it! I know the end point, but I can't find the appropriate start point."

"Can't you just put it right in front of you?"

"I wish. The start point is determined by the end point, I've tried linking a couple similar end points to here, but I can't find where around us the entrance is."

"Linking? How do shortcuts work exactly?"

"It's... hard to explain, I don't even quite understand how it works myself, I just figured out how to do it. What I do know, other than stuff I've already said, is that making one takes a considerable amount of magical energy, and I am very tired."

"But it's gotta be around here somewhere." I looked around the hotel room. There doesn't seem to be anything different. "When sans took me an a shortcut, we had to walk between rooms to get there. Maybe it's in a doorway?"

     "Maybe.... I don't know, Frisk, something about this seems... Off." There felt like there was a soft buzzing in my ear.

     "Chara?" Frisk asked. Her voice sounded muffled, as if she was talking through wax paper. The buzzing got louder. I looked toward the door to our room. It was a large, glowing rectangle. It looked so enticing. Safe and warm. I heard Asriel and I laughing behind it. A tear rolled down my face. I walked towards it. I needed to.

     I stepped into the light.

. . .

I stepped into a field of buttercups. I never thought I'd be back here.

     "This is where I woke up." I said to no one. It was here where Frisk's unrivaled Determination brought me back from the dead, and this is where Asriel found me after I fell. I picked a buttercup from the ground.

     "I thought I might find you here." A gentle, but firm voice said from behind me. I turned around, but I already knew who it was.

     "Mom."