Determination (Charisk) [OUTDATED]

61 - OLD HABITS DIE HARD

A/N: Trigger warning - cutting, discussion of tragic backstories.

(FRISK POV)

     I woke up to the sounds of Chara taking a sharp inhale, like she was in pain. I turned to the other side of the bed. She wasn't there. The bathroom door was left ajar. That's where the sounds were coming from.

     Soft sobs, interrupted by pained noises every 30 seconds or so were coming from inside the bathroom.

     "Chara?" She immediately fell silent. "Can I come in? Are you decent?"

     "...no...."

     "I'm going to come in now."

     "okay..."

     I walked into the room slowly to find Chara, completely clothed, mind you, sitting in the bathtub with her hood up. She only looked at me for a brief moment before she turned her head away and pulled her legs closer to her chest.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

"sure, i guess..."

"Chars, you're speaking in all lowercase again."

"oh... sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. Wanna tell me what's up?"

"... im sorry about what I said last night."

"Me too. I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for being so harsh on you, and that you were right. I should have told you more about... Everything."

"mmh..." Chara still averted my gaze.

"Chara... I know how you feel about this kind of stuff... but can you show me your arms?" Chara flinched. "Please?" I opened my eyes softly. The fluorescent lights of the hotel bathroom were harsh, but I needed Chara to know that she had my full attention. Her Ruby eyes glittered with tears.

Reluctantly, she gently pulled up the sleeves of her jacket to reveal large, fresh, bleeding cuts across the top of her forearms. Her other scars seemed to mean nothing in the presence of these new, crimson wounds. I met looked up to meet Chara's gaze. She started to cry.

     "are... *sob* are y-you m-mad at me?" I held her left hand.

     "Chara, of course I'm not mad at you. Why would I be mad at you?"

     "b-but i know that y-you don't like it when *sob* when..."

     "I'm sad, Chara. I'm not angry at you, not anymore... I'm just sad, is all." I put my free hand on Chara's face and wiped away her tears with my thumb. Chara put her other hand on mine and pulled my hand away from her face, holding it tightly.

     "I-it's so hard... *sob* it h-hurts so m-much no matter what I do..."

     "I know. I'm here."

     "I'm so *sob* s-so sorry..." Chara squeezed my hand.

     "It's okay.. I forgive you... can I see the... the blade?" Chara reached into her pocket, winced in pain, then pulled out a bloody razor. She cut her hand on it while grabbing it.

     "I-it's from one *sniff* one of the free shaving razors..."

     "Okay. Up." We stood up together. "Sit down." I pointed to the closed toilet. "I have some first aid stuff in my bag." I threw the razor away.

I rummaged through my inter-dimensional phone storage for some antiseptic lotion, some alcohol wipes, plenty of gauze, a roll of bandages, and some medical tape.