42 - DISTINGUISHED HOUSEGUEST

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(FRISK POV)

      "Hello?"
      "HEY! WHATS UP!!! I WAS JUST THINKING... YOU, ME, AND UNDYNE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT SOMETIME!" He can't be serious.
       "Papyrus, I don't think that's—"
       "I THINK YOU WOULD MAKE GREAT PALS!"
        "Undyne and I don't really—"
       "LETS MEET UP AT HER HOUSE LATER! AND I KNOW YOULL SHOW UP BECAUSE YOURE MY SUPER DUPER FRIEND!"

*CLICK*

      Well. I guess im going to hang out with the person who wants me dead. Must be a Tuesday. I turned around and headed back to the entrance of the town. On my way, I spotted the yellow bird I had seen earlier in some side pathway. He was inspecting a gap in a road filled with water.
       "Hey Kid, come getta look at 'is!"
        "Oookay? What am I looking at?"
       "This gap! It's so disproportionately sized!"
       "You said something like that earlier, what are you even talking about?" The bird hopped up and down repeatedly.
       "This 2 foot wide gap leads all the way to Waterfall City! You could take the long route but that would take hours!"
       "All the way to... You're right! That is disproportionately sized."
       "Say, we share the same love for disproportionately sized things, right?"
       "Uhhh..."
       "Let this old bird carry you across this disproportionately sized gap, free of charge!"
       "Well, I do need to get to waterfall city... sure, why not?"



"Well that was... something... Thanks."
"No, thank you." I walked down the short corridor and to my surprise, I was in Waterfall City. Before I try to find out where Undyne's house is, I think I'll check out the fountain again. As I approached the fountain, it spoke up.

      "Hey.. You look down in the dumps.. What's the matter?" I sat down next to Jermaine. (Thats what the fountain's name tag said)
     "Well, my boyfriend is in the hospital, and I don't know if he's going to make it."
     "Oh.. Well, hope isn't an easy thing to have.. but it sounds like it's all you have, human.. Down here the only thing keeping us alive is hope.."
      "Thanks for the positivity." I threw in 10g. The fountain nodded audibly and I stood up. I saw Papyrus standing by the house that looked like a fish, that must be Undyne's house. Go figure.

     "Hey Papyrus."
     "OHO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! ARE YOU READY TO HANG OUT WITH UNDYNE?"
     "As ready as I'll ever be."
     "I HAVE A PLAN TO MAKE YOU TWO GREAT FRIENDS!"
       "Cool, cool, what part in that plan do I run away?"
      "NYEH HEH! GOOD ONE HUMAN, OKAY NOW STAND BEHIND ME... Psst. Make sure to give her this." He it a yellow bone-shaped squeaky toy with a red ribbon tied around it in my hands. "She loves these!" Papyrus then knocked to the door of the house. Teeth of the house? Whatever it is, Undyne wearing a black tank top and jeans emerged from the house and started talking to Papyrus.
"Hi, Papyrus! Ready for your extra-private, one-on-one training?"
"YOU BET I AM! AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!" Papyrus stepped aside leaving me out in the open.
"Hi I don't think we've—..."
"..."
"..." Through clenched teeth, Undyne muttered:
"Why don't. You two. Come in?" I had seen the inside of her house before, but I never got to take a good look at it. The floor was blue and yellow tiles, there was a kitchenette in the back, a simple table, a piano and a broadsword, and her captain's armor.
"HERE UNDYNE, MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU, ON THIER OWN!" I meagerly handed her the squeaky toy.
"Uhh... Thanks. I'll, uh, put it with the others." She deposited the 'gift' into a drawer filled with other squeaky toys. "So. Are we ready to start?"
"WHOOPSY DOOPSY! I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!!!" Then Papyrus proceeded to jump out of the window. Undyne then turned to me.
"... So why are YOU here? To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? IS THAT IT?"
"No! Of course not!" She narrowed her eyes at me.
"Then why are you here?"
"Bec—"
"...! Wait. I get it. You think that I'm going to be friends with you, huh? Right???"
"Not exactly, I'm only here because Papyrus wanted me to be here."
"... If you weren't my houseguest, I'd beat you up right now! You're the enemy of everyone's hopes and dreams! I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND. "
"I... Can't say I blame you. I'll leave." As I started to walk away, Papyrus walked back up to the shattered window.
"DANG! WHAT A SHAME. I THOUGHT UNDYNE COULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. BUT I GUESS... I OVERESTIMATED HER. SHE'S JUST NOT UP TO THE CHALLENGE." Then Papyrus disappeared again.
"CHALLENGE!? What!? Papyrus wait a second...! Darnit. He thinks I can't be friends with YOU!? Fuhuhu! What a joke! I could make friends with a wimpy loser like you any day!"
"Ouch."
"I'll show him! Listen up human. We're not just going to be friends. We're going to be... BESTIES. I'll make you like me so much... You won't be able to think of anyone else!!!"
"That's not creepy at all."
"Fuhuhuhu! It's the PERFECT REVENGE!!..." Undyne then turned to me, and spoke in a gentle voice. "Why don't you have a seat." She gestured to the table.
"Oookay. It's better than you killing me, I guess." Her gaze sharpened slightly.
"Comfortable? Ill get you something to drink." She laid out several drinks on the counter. Tea, Cocoa, soda, boiling water, etc. "All set! What would you like?" I went to adjust my seat when Undyne threw a spear at me. It embedded itself in the table in front of me. "HEY!!! DONT GET UP!!! YOU'RE THE GUEST!! SIT DOWN AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!!... Uh, I mean, why don't you let me get it for you."
"...sure. i'll have tea... the yellow box...thanks."
"...tea, huh? Coming right up!" Undyne grabbed the kettle, filled it with water, and placed it on the stove.

. . .

"Okay, it's all done!" She poured two cups of tea and set them down on the spear-embedded table. "Here we are."
"Thank you." She sat down on the other side of the table.
"Careful, it's hot." I took a sip anyway, it's burning. But other than that, it was delicious. It had floral notes, and it wasn't too heavy. It was surprisingly sweet for unsugared tea.
"This is actually really good!"
"Nothing but the best for my ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS FRIEND!!" Again with that facade. Just because it's a 'challenge' she has to make me her friend. I'm actually incredibly nervous. She looks like she's about to snap at any moment. I know the feeling. The patch on my arm itches. Undyne took a few sips of her tea. "Hey... You know... It's kinda strange you chose that tea."
"How so?"
"Golden flower tea... That's Asgore's favorite kind. Actually, now that I think about it... You kind of remind me of him. You're both TOTAL weenies!!"
"No way. King Asgore? A 'weenie'?"
"Well... sort of... He... He does what he has to do."
"... The other humans... Six of them, was it?"
"You'd be the seventh..." An uneasy silence grew as we drank our tea.
"He doesn't want to though. That's... that's why it's my job to go find them first."
"..."
"You know, I was a pretty hot-headed kid. Once to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore. Emphasis on TRIED. I couldn't land a single blow on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back! I was so humiliated..."
"And me refusing to fight you doesn't make that any better, huh?"
"No, not really... Afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy... 'Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?' I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during practice, I finally knocked him down. I felt... bad. But he was beaming... I had never seen someone more proud to get thier butt kicked. But, long story short, he kept training me. And now I'm the head of the royal guard! So now I'm the one who gets to train dorks to fight!... Like, uh,Papyrus. But, um, to be honest... I don't know if I can let Papyrus into the royal guard... Dont tell him I said that. He's just... well... I mean it's not that he's weak. He's actually pretty freaking tough!"
"Yeah. The first week that I knew him, he shattered my arm into a bunch of pieces."
"No way."
"Yeah, I almost died. He felt really bad."
"That's kinda what I'm talking about... He's too innocent and nice!!!"
"He was supposed to capture me, but he ended up being friends with me instead!"
"I could never send him into battle! He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds." She was quiet for a short while. She brushed her hand over her eyepatch. "... Last time we fought, you said that you had killed me before."
"... Yes. That's true."
"One spear through the eye."
"... Yes... however that's not all. That alone didn't kill you. You came back as I was about to hurt a child. You blocked the blow and took a hit across the chest. It went all the way through both sides of you body, it was actually really horrifying."
"... And how am I supposed to believe you? If I'm here right now, you couldn't have killed me. And if I had both my eyes back then, why have I had this eyepatch my whole life?"
"... You know sans? Papyrus's brother... Well I had killed him too, and he told me 'if i couldn't see through the effects of red magic, id have thought that i had this scar my whole life.'"
"And what in Asgore's name does that mean?"
"Red magic. It's another kind of color magic. Reality manipulation. Think of it as LOADing a SAVE point. Back before I had killed everyone."
"Pfft. Humans can't do magic."
"Then how did you all get stuck down here in the first place?" Undyne sat in stunned silence. I didn't look up from my tea.
"Then you really are a menace."
"You're right. I am a menace. But that doesn't mean I'm not ashamed. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm mentally ill. I have a condition called honoris insanium. Every once and a while, I lose control of myself and attack anyone and everything in my path. But I don't want to. I hate when I get like that. I have dust on my hands that I can never wash off. No matter how much I LOAD or RESET. But I'm trying," I pulled up my sleeve to show her the white patch on my non-bandaged arm. "I got these antipsychotic patches from Dr. Alphys, the royal scientist, so that I never have to go through that again." It was strange how I wasn't crying this time, explaining it to Undyne. But she seemed to understand easier than I thought she would. I looked up at her. She had put her hands together, and seemed to be thinking really hard.
"There was someone with you the last time we met, someone who wasn't really there, right? Who?"
"..."
"He also told me about all this, who was it?"
"... his name is Prince Charaline Dreemurr."

Snail Fact #34
"Snails" is the 1532nd most commonly used password.

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