Determination (Charisk) [OUTDATED]

III - TALE OF THE DISCOVERY

Tra la la, they have not forgotten, but the machine remains broken.

(SANS POV)
    

     what else can i say?
how many times have i said this? is this the first time around, or the hundredth? does it always go this way?
what's the point?

i opened the door into grillby's.
     "hey, everyone"
      "Hey sans! (Hi sans!)"
      "Greetings, sans!"
      "Hiya, sansy~"
      "Hi sans." grillby was washing a cup that was still steaming. i hopped up on the bar stool.
       "gimme more of that human stuff grillbz." he set the cup down.
       "Sans, you know what human vinegar does to monsters. Should I give you some of our alcohol?"
       "c'mon grillbz, i want the strong stuff...  i really need it right now."
       "Sans." I looked up at him. "Is this about... the machine?"
      "grillby, im not crazy I just—" i took a deep breath. "i just really don't want to think right now." he looked at me in disappointment.
"I didn't say that you were. But it's technically illegal to serve you that stuff. Besides, it'd be kinda off putting to see you drink human ketchup from the waterfall garbage dump, don't you think?"
"heh, good one" he put his hand on my arm.
"Sans, I'm worried about you. You need to talk to someone and that... stuff surely won't help you. I think you need to go home." i got up.
"whatever. it's not worth it anyway." nothing is. papyrus walked into our living room. for some reason he stopped in front of me.
"Sans. You've been lying there just staring at the wall for 5 hours."
"what? no i haven't! you just got here and you started talking to me." papyrus looked at me in the eye socket.
"No, you haven't. I came in, did all of the chores, and sat down next to you for an hour."
"wow, i guess time flies when your having fun."
"You used the wrong 'you're'."
"what does it matter? you still understood me." papyrus sat down in front of me.
"Sans, I'm worried about you."
"Why does everyone keep worrying about me?!"
"BECAUSE YOU COME IN HERE AND SIT AND CRY FOR 5 HOURS STRAIGHT WHILE I TRY TO CONSOLE YOU AND YOU DONT EVEN NOTICE! IM WORRIED FOR YOU BECAUSE DESPITE MY CONCERNS, YOU CUT ME OFF OF THE PROJECT AND BARELY TALK TO ME ANYMORE! IM WORRIED BECAUSE YOU DONT TELL ME ANYTHING! NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING! UNDYNE HASNT TOLD ME WHY SHE KEEPS ME OUT OF THE ROYAL GUARD, YOU HAVENT TOLD ME WHY YOU KEEP THINGS FROM ME, AND OUR BROTHER DIDNT TELL ME ANYTHING AT ALL BEFORE... UGH, YOUVE  ALWAYS KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME EVER SINCE HE... Left..."
"papyrus—"
"I want him back, too sans. But whatever you found out is bad, isn't it? It's so bad that you're not taking care of yourself, not even a little bit." he paused. "All you have is a little bit, sans."
     "i know, i know, don't gotta remind me how weak i am."
     "It's my job to take care of you, and I need to know what this is so that I can figure out what to do."
     "heh. there's not really much you can do."
     "Why won't you tell me? Is it because you think I won't understand?"
"no i— no, pap, i think you will understand. that's what worries me.  it's one of those things you're better off knowing."
     "And you are?"
     "..."
     "You keep secrets no one asked for that only hurt you. Because somewhere you don't think you deserve to be happy."
"i just want you to be happy"
"Do I look happy?"
"okay... okay you wanna know the real deal?... im scared... im scared to tell you cuz... you always see the best in things. you never give up, you always find some kinda light in things and im scared that this... that you won't find any light in this. that there isn't any... and if you can't find the light... i don't know that i could handle it."
     "...You don't seem to be handling it now."
     "i know, i know... i just don't want to drag you into it." papyrus stood up.
"Dammed if you do, Dammed if you don't. Might as well tell me instead of withering away inside. Besides," He put his hand on my head. "IM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING, NYEH HEH!"
"...okay."
. . .

these feelings might not be real, but they sure hurt like they are.

how much control do they have over us? what we say, or do, or think?

how much of us is us, and not what they want us to be?

are they watching us right now?

are we words on a page, or lines of code on some computer?

is this what they wanted?

well, I hope they're having fun; putting us through this.

Not really.

I hope they go to hell.

thats not gonna fix this though.

I don't know how to fix this.

I don't know how to do anything anymore.

I want to undo this, but I can't.

I can't.

I took a deep breath.

*Knock Knock* "who's there? a skeleton. a skeleton who? a skele-ton more where this came from."
*Knock Knock* "who's there? nobel. nobel who? nobel. that's why i knocked."
*Knock Knock* "wh—" another voice from behind the door cut me off.
"Who's there?"

Why are you telling me these stories in particular?