Determination (Charisk) [OUTDATED]

11 - FLOW

A/N: This chapter contains depictions of self harm. I am not prompting or supporting suicide or self harm in any way, shape, or form, nor do I claim to. If you need help, please, contact 1-800-273-8255 immediately. The themes shown here are used for storytelling purposes only. Viewer discretion is advised. Thank you.

(CHARA POV)
"SPAGHETTI IS A NORMAL AND DELICIOUS BREAKFAST, SANS."
     "ok." We decided to get up to get some spaghetti. I was getting better at this whole, existing thing. I got out of bed via phasing, Frisk shuddered and let out a mewl as I phased right through her. It's not until she got up until I realized she was just wearing one of my big shirts that said 'SIN' in big black letters and some underwear, as the thing was like a a dress to her. Ngl it looked pretty cute on her. What? It's my POV, I can use abbreviations if I want. We went out into the living/dining room for some  pasta. I was exhausted from staying solid all night so I just stayed on the freshly cleaned couch.
. . .

(FRISK POV)

     I took a small bite of spaghetti, and it was not good. I didn't know that meatballs could be grey. The sauce was just overcooked tomato guts as if he just punched it and put it in a pot. I must have made a funny face because Chara was rolling with laughter. Ugg. Anyway Papyrus took the spaghetti away and starting doing dishes. Chara perked up and was talking to sans in the corner. I forgot sans could understand that Chara existed.  I just sat and looked about. I should go put some clothes on.

(CHARA POV)

     Frisk was at the table being all sleepy and adorable. Sans walked over to me and we hit it off.
     "heya, what was that last night."
     "She tried to commit suicide, but she survived the fall." Sans looked a bit shocked but maintained his cool, his smile went down a little.
     "aw geez kid, i'm sorry."
     "She survived. That's all that matters."
     "ya look lost in thought, kiddo."
     "What would it take to make an artificial body?"
"well, kid, it would take a lot of dt to amplify your mass, blood, etc."
"Well I don't have a heartbeat..."
"don't need one, determination alone will keep you alive."
"Will other... functions um... work?"
     "that might take some extra work, kiddo. you should talk to dr. alphys, here give her this." He handed me a coupon for 'One free science thing'
     "Thanks sans."
     "no prob bob."
"Where is Dr. Alphys located, exactly?"
     "hotland, it's past waterfall." I knew where Hotland was, but I had never heard of this Dr. Alphys before.
     "Ahh okay." We sat in silence for a bit. "Why doesn't the world reset when I show myself?" He had to think for a second.
     "my theory is that it's only people that knew you when you were alive, make the world reset." Sans looked over at frisk, who was asleep on the table. His smile lowered a bit. But if that's the case, why did the flower cause the world to reset? I felt dizzy. The world started to warp around me. "hey kid, you okay?"
"I-I'm fine. Just being tangible takes a toll on me. I'm not used to existing, and all that strain must have caught up with me."
"Hey, you okay?" Frisk has woken up. Black goo has started to leak from the corners of my mouth like blood. I guess I started to pass out because she rushed over and grabbed me. I experience gravity differently then everyone else. I probably only weigh a few grams, but I feel like I'm about 200lbs.
. . .

(FRISK POV)

     He just passed out. His face was kind of leaking black goo from the eyes and mouth. The same thing happened after the genocide. The words still reverb in my head:
     "Since when were you in control?" I keep telling myself that it wasn't him, that he isn't like that. But right now his face is telling me otherwise. I tried to take off his jacket, he was sweating and I didn't want him to be too hot. my hands passed through his jacket like air. Never mind then. I changed into some of the new clothes he got me what seemed like weeks ago, but in this timeline it was only a day. I put my hood up and faith that the urge to fall back asleep. I thought of our conversation last night. He said that he wanted to get back at the people that hurt him. Poor miss Toriel. She must have been distraught.
     "Hey guys? Can I use your phone?"
     "OF COURSE HUMAN!"
     "Thanks!" I dialed Toriel's number.
...blip blip blip...blip blip blip...
"Hello? Who is th—"
"I'm sorry about your son." She let out a small gasp.
"My child, how did you..."
"Word spreads around. Even after 13 years. I didn't know. Buttercups are a bad way to go."
"Stop. Let me tell you something, I don't want to talk about this. I lost him. He's gone. Bringing him up only dishonors the short life he accually had." She was crying with rage. "I'll tell you what happened, him and his brother made a pie for Asgore. They used buttercups instead of cups of butter. Monsters are more resilient to floral toxins then humans." She choked on a sob. "Chara presumably wanted to make it up to Asgore and ate a small patch of buttercups. At least 30. The effects were instant and his body erupted in blistering along his hands and arms, his mouth had swollen shut. His intestines effectively liquified... Or so we heard."
     "What does that mean?"
     "It means that he died before we could find him. His body disappeared. We waited for about an hour when our other son Asriel came through the barrier from the other side. He had gained power equal to twice the amount of monsters in the underground. He... He had absorbed Chara's SOUL. The last thing he told us was that.. was that... he had taken Chara's body to the heart of his village but the humans attacked him. He was smiling the whole time. He was mortally wounded. He looked at us and said to us... "we love you"... he turned to dust in our arms. The monster doctors said that humans have worse effects to floral poisoning then us monsters. We had lost both of our sons that day. Both to the humans." Her voice trailed off. Did humans really do that? I couldn't... I can't understand.
     "I— I didn't I"
     "I know you meant no harm but please. Don't call back." She hung up. Stupid. I chided myself. Dumb, stupid girl. Who starts a conversation like that? With his mom? Chara squirmed a bit on the couch. He tried talking, more black goo spilling out of his mouth into the bucket I had laid next to him.
     "I-it's-its really -h-hot." He slipped off his jacket and it flickered in between reality and the ethereal plane. He coughed up more liquid and put his hand on my face. It passed right through, as a warm breeze. It felt weird, sure, but that didn't matter to me. It smelled like buttercups, pie, and the forest. He tensed up and puked out more black goop. I looked at his arms. They had scars, scabs, and slashes across them. Was he cutting himself? What brought him to... why... is he okay? I mean he's already dead but.. I was so tired. I got little sleep last night and only a small nap today. I fought to stay awake. For him. He needs me.
. . .

(CHARA POV)

I woke up on the couch. Black streaks from the corners of my mouth and eyes ran down my face like dried blood. Frisk was in a chair pulled up to the side of the couch. She had her hood up and was fast asleep. I looked over at the bucket next to me. It was filled with congealed darkness. I don't know what it is but I do know it happens when my body thinks something is wrong. At least, ever since I died, that is. Frisk woke up. She took a minute to realize that I was awake, but when she did, boy did I get in trouble.
"What are those cuts on your arms?" She seemed angry and sad.
"Are we going to do this?"
"Dammit, yes Chara! This means a lot to me! I'm not going to sit around while you carve into yourself with who knows what?"
"When I was... alive... before I fell into the underground, I lived in a small village. Everyone there hated me; They were terrified of me. Couldn't tell you why. When I was 3, I had picked up a kitchen knife from the counter. My parents were terrified. They ripped the knife out of my hands and slashed across my arms in 'self defense'. What a load of bullshit. I wasn't too hurt from that. And by that I mean that I didn't bleed out. Every time from then, every time someone was mad at me, or scared of me, I cut myself. Followed my parents example because they 'obviously knew best'..." The darkness streamed down his face like tears, but he wasn't crying, he was filled with an indescribable amount of fury and regret. "It was just ingrained into my brain that it was the right thing to do but it wasn't." He continued, "It wasn't and now I'm stuck with these... these scars on my spirit. Unable to heal from mistakes I made in life." He was upright now and grabbing his right arm.
"Oh... Chara I'm—" His knuckles were white with rage.
"And what happened next is even worse. They told me that they had left me a present on Mt.Ebott. I walked 4 miles. Then another mile uphill. Nothing was there. I was a naive child who almost got himself killed.. I was headed back home when I tripped on a vine and fell. At this point the cutting was just a habit. I thought about my parents: I cut myself. I thought about how everyone was constantly scared of me: I cut myself. When Toriel found out, she explained to me that it was wrong. That brings me to when I was 5. I had picked up a knife that was laying around. Toriel feared for her life. She still couldn't understand I wouldn't hurt anyone. I saw the fear in her eyes and so I ran off. And cut myself. But then later that same month, Asgore got really sick, and so I decided. No more cutting myself. Because I really screwed up this time. I deserved worse than cuts. 48 buttercups and 13 years later, here I am. The scars branded on my spirit as a grim reminder that I actually trusted my birth parents."

      He looked over to the far corner of the room, arms crossed. He muttered something under his breath:

     "tch, what a dumb kid i was."

Snail Fact #7
Snails posses an innate appreciation for spaghetti.