A court of water and worlds

Chapter #20

"Where the hell did you guys go?" Cassian asked, putting two plates in front of them.
"Out," Gwyn said, shoveling food in her mouth.
She was so hungry.
That usually happened when she used her powers.
She still didn't understand how Azriel found out about her sexual power.
Cauldron, Gwyn was so embarrassed.
She didn't mind talking about sex.
She was actually curious about the act. That's one of the reasons why she had started reading Emrie and Nesta's smutty books.
She didn't think she would ever let anyone touch her in that way, though.
There was no one she trusted enough.
She couldn't quite comprehend how people wanted sex or felt desire, Especially for another person.
But that didn't mean she wanted to talk to Azriel about it.
She felt like a child when she was turning bright red at the mention of sex and he just said It so causally.
He probably has lots of experience, and Gwyn couldn't help but be curious.
She had so many questions for him, but they were probably way too personal.
But he asked about her power and that was definitely personal.
She made a note to punch him about that later.
She looked over to where he was sitting next to her and shot him a glare.
He scrunched his brows while shoving eggs in his mouth.
"What do you mean, out?" Nesta asked, washing a pan.
"We went to the lake," Azriel said, still shoveling eggs into his mouth. He must be hungry too.
"Why the lake," Cassian asked, taking the pan from Nesta and drying it with a towel.
"The lake is calming," Gwyn said, "after everything that happened yesterday, I just needed a break."
Nesta nodded and cocked her head to the side but not in a predatory way.
In a worried way, like she was asking if Gwyn was ok.
So Gwyn looked to Nesta and nodded.
—-
"The camps are even angrier as you would imagine, after we rescued some of their females. We failed by only getting a fourth of them out and now we don't have another chance because the camps took it as an act of war." Cassian announced to camp windhaven.
"We have to be ready to fight. Our high lord has secured other troops from Dawn court. They will be arriving this afternoon. We have confirmed that camp iron crest and shadow ember are flying as we speak—-
Cassian continued talking but Gwyn did not continue listening.
A civil war.
There was an actual civil war.
Almost all of the Illyrian females have their wings clipped.
And the other camps are already flying.
That means they will be here in a matter of minutes.
War. The last time Gwyn saw war—
No. She cannot think about that.
Her breathing started to pick up and she felt her magic flicker out.
That was the thing about her magic whenever she was scared and needed it most it flickered out.
She didn't have control over her magic.
Her sister Catrin knew how to control her own magic, but by the time Gwyn went to her for help...
Well Catrin didn't get much teaching in before... you know.
Gwyn could feel the tears in her eyes.
God, she remembered that day like it was yesterday.
She was so afraid and helpless and she couldn't save Catrin. couldn't even save herself.
Gwyn started walking then running.
She didn't know where she was going all she knew was that she needed to go somewhere, do something, otherwise all this fear and loss and hopelessness would consume her fully and—
"Gwyn, hey what's wrong?" She heard a soft voice say.
She turned and barely saw Nesta through her tear filled eyes.
Gwyn basically fell into Nesta's open arms.
"I don't know how to breathe," Gwyn said through sobs.
Nesta just held her tightly.
"Remember when you taught me mind-stilling," Nesta rubbed her back in soothing circles.
Gwyn nodded into Nesta's shoulder.
"Yeah, good. Ok breath in," a pause "and out."
They did this ten more times until Gwyn's tears stopped.
"Ok now clear your mind of everything," a pause "now picture where you feel most calm."
Gwyn didn't know where to picture because if she pictured her mother and sister that would only make this worse.
So she pictured being wrapped in Azriel's shadows.
Completely cut off from the outside word but safe and protected.
"Ok, you have it?" Nesta asked, still holding Gwyn tightly.
Gwyn again nodded into Nesta's shoulder.
"Ok now take a deep breath in," a pause, "and out."
They kept doing this until Gwyn's face was no longer buried in Nesta's shoulder and her grip loosened a little.
"Hey everything is going to be fine, you have me remember. I won't let anyone get to you I promise."
Gwyn nodded and Nesta brushed away the last of Gwyn's tears.
"But what if something happened to you?" Gwyn looking into Nesta's cooling eyes.
"I have you," she said with a soft smile and Gwyn nodded.
She looked out and realized that they were completely surrounded by darkness.
No, not darkness.
Shadows.
Azriel's shadows.
Nesta looked to where Gwyn's attention had gone.
"Yeah those came over and started surrounding us. Az must be worried or something," Nesta said but looked a little nervous by being surrounded in darkness.
Gwyn told the shadows she was fine and they all went away but one.
One stayed and swirled around her fingertips.
"Ready?" Nesta asked.
Gwyn nodded and they made their way back to the camp.
—
Azriel didn't know what was happening until his shadows disappeared.
He tried calling out to them but they were not coming back.
Who was The only person who could take his shadows? Gwyn.
He immediately walked away from where Cassian was speaking and ran.
He didn't know where he was going but something in him was telling him this way, faster.
He kept running until his shadows returned to him and he saw Gwyn talking to Nesta.
Gwyn looked like she had been crying.
Something broke in Azriel at the sight of this.
He wanted to be the one to help her, to be the one to hold her.
Well, He kind of did help her, or more so his shadows did.
He wanted her to always feel safe. So before walking back to Cassian he left one of his shadows to watch over her.