A court of water and worlds

Chapter #53

Alright folks, another confusing as fuck chapter. I hope you enjoy. Also sorry again to not posting for so long. Hopefully once all the plot heavy shit subsides a little I will be able to write more easily. Also thank you sooooo much for reading! I love you all!——————————————————————————
Gwyn was very stressed out.
Right after she finished singing at the temple she had received a note from the high lord and lady. They said they had matters they had to discuss with her alone.
Had she done something wrong?
They had both been very kind to her last night. Did something happen?
She tried mind stilling as she made her way up to the house of wind.
It didn't seem to calm her nerves.
They said they would meet her at the house of wind.
Just as she had anticipated, she took her last step up the flight of stairs and there they were. Waiting for her in the living room
"Gwyn," Feyre said with a hesitant smile, "we are sorry for the short notice, but this couldn't wait."
Gwyn nodded and stepped in the living room stuffing her shaking hands in her pockets.
"You might want to sit down for this," Rhys gestured to the couch.
He didn't have wings today.
She sat down, "and this just has to do with me?"
She didn't understand how it could be a personal problem. She didn't think they knew that much about her. But no one else was here, it was just her.
"Yes, Gwyn, this has to do with your heritage."
Gwyn furrowed her brow.
Her heritage?
But her only family was gone.
Her mother had died of a sickness when she was young and Catrin, well...
"What do you mean?"
"Did your mother ever tell you who your father was?"
Gwyn huffed a laugh, "no, she always told me she performed in the great rite in spring, so the magic made everything very hazy. All she could remember was that he had beautiful green eyes."
Gwyn's laugh turned into a sad smile, "she always said I had his eyes. I never really understood because mine are blue. But she told me both of our eyes had a certain glow about them. She said it looked like life was poured into our eyes.
I guess it makes sense," she pondered, "spring and life go hand in hand, and he was a high fae from spring so..."
She trailed off realizing how long she had been talking.
She looked up to find them both staring at her.
"So she told you he was a high fae from spring?" Feyre asked and Gwyn nodded.
"I hope it isn't too personal but do you have any powers from spring?" Rhys asked, his face looking pained.
"Yes, actually I am able to shapeshift."
She honestly thought Azriel would have already told them about her powers.
Where was he anyway?
"Gwyn," Feyre started, "because I was made by all seven high lords, I am able to sense them more easily and sense their kin."
Gwyn sat up straight.
"This had happened before, and I never told him the truth about how his father really was, and it haunts me every day."
Was she saying her father was a high lord?
She of course had heard about the high lords. They were powerful. They were feared. There was Rhysand who ruled the night. Thessan who ruled Dawn. Helion who ruled day. Kallius who ruled winter. Beron who ruled autumn. Tarquin who ruled summer. And Tamlin who ruled spring.
Other than that she knew absolutely nothing about the high lords or their Territories. She had lived in night court her whole life.
"Ever since I had met you I sensed a certain power about you— a certain dominance that all high lords possess. I recently went to spring court and saw Tamlin," she saw the high lady cringe at the name.
"I believe the high lord of spring is your father."
What?
Gwyn was confused.
Holy shit. Her mom had sex with a high lord.
Nice job mom.
Gwyn snorted.
This would be classified avoidance, Gwyn thought to herself.
She let the thought marinate in her mind.
Her dad was a high lord. Tamlin, the high lord of spring.
Cool.
Her dad was alive and currently ruling spring court because he is a high lord.
Ok.
"What?" Gwyn ran her hands through her hair.
"Rhys, Feyre, Gwyn, you're all here, great. We need to talk now," Azriel said, stepping out of a shadow.
She turned to him and blinked a couple of times.
"Hi," she smiled thinking about how pretty his face was rather than her biological father.
"Are you ok?" He frowned, walking over to her.
She furrowed her brow and looked up at him at his beautiful features.
"I don't really know, they said Tamlin is my dad so..."
She blew out a breath and watched his eyes go wide.
"What?" He asked turning to Rhysand and Feyre.
"You— what?" She had never in her life seen Azriel so surprised before.
She let out a nervous giggle.
Today was really weird.
"Fuck," Azriel ran his hand through his perfectly ruffled hair.
"Gwyn?" He sat down on the couch next to her and gently took her hand, tentatively running his finger over her palm, and letting his shadows trail up and down her arms in soothing strokes. Like he was trying to calm her down.
"If you had two big wounds on your arm that we had to reopen in order to heal, would you rather we do them one day at a time or both right away?"
What was going on? Why was he asking her this?
"Both right away. I would want to get it over with," she grew even more confused as Mor and Emrie walked in the room.
"What is going on?" She looked at Emrie.
"Are you ok?" Feyre asked, walking over to check on Mor, "Someone needs to explain what is happening."
Emrie strode over to Gwyn and sat down next to her on the couch.
Both Emrie and Azriel held her hands while Mor spoke.
—-
Breath. Breath. Breath.
That was all Gwyn was worried about, breathing.
So much information that her brain actually hurt.
A man named Eris Vanserra was her grandfather.
Supposedly he was the heir to Atum court.
So she basically had two high lords blood flowing through her.
Cool.
And Eris was connected to Narben?
Gwyn had remembered her mother telling her a story about a magical dark sword.
Her mother said that an Evil woman wanted to use the sword but she was stopped by two heroes.
A water nymph and a redhead man that her mother never gave a name to.
Gwyn thought it was just a story, until now.
Because the redheaded man was an actual person. He was her grandfather.
And the story was true. Her mother and Eris had taken the sword Narben from Amrenthana.
Eris.
Eris.
Eris.
It's not a bad name, it just felt so foreign in her mouth.
And she couldn't put a face to it.
She felt the same way about Tamlin. Though she had heard about him, she had never seen him.
Tamlin was her dad.
Tamlin was the high lord of spring court.
Her dad was the ruler of spring court.
And he is alive.
Eris is her grandfather.
He is also alive.
Would she have to meet them?
Would she want to?
She has a family now. Real biological family. But it didn't seem to matter as much because of the family she had built... and the family she had lost.
If these men truly were her family then why hadn't they saved her mother when she was dying?
Why hadn't they saved Catrin?
Why hadn't they saved her?
She felt a hand on her back pull her out of her daze.
Azriel.
"Gwyn," his voice had never been softer, Gwyn wanted to lean into it, into him. Let him hold her together through this.
"Yes?"
"Are you alright?"
She was currently standing in the training room, looking over the balcony at the city. She told everyone she needed some air.
"I don't know," she said honestly, "I don't really know how to feel. I mean... we have so much other shit to worry about between the swords and Koschei. But Tamlin is my father which makes me—
She cut herself off, not letting her thoughts go further.
She didn't let herself think about if Tamlin died she would have to rule a place she has never seen.
"The heir," Azriel finished for her and she just nodded then looked back towards the city.
She was the fucking heir to spring.
What the fuck?
"And then there is the whole thing with Eris and Narben," she sighed.
She really wanted to cry.
Why did she want to cry?
"You don't have to meet them if you don't want to."
"If I don't meet with Eris we will never get the
sword—
"There are plenty of other ways to get him to talk."
"Yes, but those "other ways" are just torture. And I have never met Eris, but I don't really want him to be tortured."
"Would you still feel the same if I told you he is an ass?" He leaned against the railing.
She punched him in the shoulder, "hey that's my family you're talking about," She laughed then froze.
"My family," she repeated her smile faltering.
"I have family," she whispered and the dam of tears broke from her eyes.
"Hey, hey," he pulled her into his arms, and his wings wrapped around them in a comforting darkness.
Tears were streaming down her face. Gwyn was breaking. She didn't know when the first crack in her heart appeared, but there were so many now that her heart was beginning to shatter.
Why was she sad about someone she had never met?
Everything was changing so fast. She had just left the library and the house of wind for the first time two months ago. And then there was Koschei and the swords and the Valkyrie. And now she has a dad and a grandfather. And they are alive, and they knew her mother and grandmother.
She could quite tell if her tears were from joy or sadness or hurt or uncertainty.
But they kept coming.
Azriel pulled her in closer, tucking her into his chest, and she let him hold her together. For only a moment she Let him be the rock on which her surf crashed.
"Mother," she groaned, "when did I become such a crybaby."
She felt Azriel's chest vibrate with a laugh.
"You're not a crybaby. Tears are good, crying is good while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later and decide what to do. But I'm here Gwyn, for however long you need me."
She nodded into his shoulder and sniffled.
"I'm tired."  And that was the honest truth.
She was so tired of just... everything.
"Ok," again his voice was softer than silk, "do you want me to take you back to your rooms."
She shook her head.
She wasn't ready to see Flora. She would ask what was wrong and Gwyn wasn't read to explain it all.
"Do you want to stay here?"
There really wasn't anywhere else for her to go. But everyone was still in there and she wasn't ready to face them either.
"Is there anywhere else?" she didn't expect her voice to be so shaky.
"I have an apartment in Velaris. No one knows about it. We can go there if that's ok with you?"
She nodded, not caring where they were as long as she didn't have to talk about Tamlin or Eris.
his shadows wrapped around them in darkness then they were in a room.
Gwyn thought winnowing was very strange. She never really understood it.
She hadn't water winnowed in so long.
She supposed if she was the daughter of a high lord she could winnow normally as well.
She looked around but didn't really see anything. Her brain was too full to detect anything other than a kitchen and a living room.
"The bedroom is back here," he guided her towards the room at the end of the hall.
"I can tell the others that you needed some time to rest."
But she still had to figure this whole thing out.
What to do about Eris and Tamlin.
What to do with herself.
She nodded and looked down at her clothes. She was still in her priestess robes from singing at the temple.
Azriel nodded in understanding and walked over to a dresser.
"I have these," he held up a pair of loose pants and a long sleeve shirt.
"I'm not sure I'm allowed to go into your rooms in the library to get your clothes so..." he trailed off holding out the clothes to her.
She took them from him studying the material. It was very soft. She didn't think the shadowsinger owned anything this comfortable or casual.
"I'll leave you to change and rest—
"But you'll still be here?" Gwyn needed him here. She didn't know why. She couldn't explain it if she tried, but all she knew was that she needed him.
"Of course, I will be here if you need anything."
She nodded and he left the room.
And now Gwyn was left to her thoughts.
She changed into his clothes that were way too big for her and padded over to the bed.
She didn't let herself think about who's bed she was in, who's clothes she was in because that was a whole other problem she didn't know how to solve.
She ignored those thoughts and tried to figure out what to do.
She needed to talk to Eris. They needed to find Narben if they were ever going to stop Koschei and save the Illyrian women. And... she wanted to hear about her grandmother. The water Nymph Eris had supposedly fell in love with. She wanted to know who he was as well. Gwyn hated mysteries. she hated not knowing.
And Tamlin...
She would have to meet him. Just once. Maybe to ask about her shapeshifting power she had no idea how to control. Maybe to ask about her mother. Or maybe just to see... to see if he was worth it.
Worth knowing.
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Ok so as you all know I am writing a fanfic about Tamlin and Luna. I meant to finish that before I got to this chapter so Tamlin's role would make more sense but..... that just didn't happen. But hopefully I will finish that fanfic soon so his story line makes
More sense and Luna's as well.