A court of water and worlds

chapter #64

hey everyone ummm this chapter is kinda long. also I feel like you are going to be mad at me, so I'm sorry in advance if something in this chapter angers you. I'm really trying to write smut but I can't stop giggling so if it is bad please let me know. anyway thank you for reading even when my posting schedule is soooo messed up. I appreciate the commitment and I love you all very much! 

btw sorry if there are typos.

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The silence was deafening. Tamlin only stared at Gwyn for a while before he finally spoke.

"You want to become heir to spring." nothing shone in Tamlin's eyes. Nothing wavered in his voice.

Although it was not a question, Gwyn nodded, "yes."

Tamlin went silent again and Gwyn used this opportunity to shoot Azriel one more death stare for good measure.

He shot her an apologetic glance, but Gwyn decided she was definitely going to punch him later for this. Even though she was supposed to ask Tamlin hours ago... she couldn't. She didn't want to ruin whatever relationship they had by asking too much of him. Especially when he hadn't sounded excited about her staying in spring for longer than expected.

"If you need time—

"It's not that," Tamlin interjected. "May I speak with you in private?"

Gwyn nodded and turned to Azriel. "Wait for me in the library."

Azriel nodded and in seconds he was winnowing away, though one lone shadow remained around Gwyn's pointer finger.

She looked up at Tamlin who's face looked sullen. His usual golden skin had dimmed and there was not the slightest flare of light in his green eyes.

"The heir to spring will die." he didn't look at her as the words passed his lips. "That was the last thing Luna told me about the prophecy."

"What?" The warm breeze turned frigid.

"You are destined to defeat Orcus, but the cost is that the Heir to spring will die." Tamlin ran his hands through the long golden strands of his hair as his mouth set in a frown.

"So I am destined to die?" Gwyn could feel her heart beating in her chest.

"She didn't say you, she just said the heir to spring." he clarified. "So if you become the heir," he paused and his eyes darted around the room, avoiding her own.

"I will die," Gwyn finished for him. And for the first time death was not something Gwyn found peaceful or pleasing.

"I was worried this might happen," he admitted standing from his chair not being able to sit still. "That's why I tried to stay away, I shouldn't have gotten close to you." he was breathing quickly now. Gwyn could hear his heart beats speeding up. "Because you're going to..." he pressed his hands over his eyes. "I'm going to lose you, before I even got the chance to know you" he choked out. "I'm going to lose you Just like I lost her."
Gwyn got up from her chair and rounded the table, now standing in front of Tamlin, her father. She hesitantly pulled his hands away from his face and his expression threatened tears to form in Gwyn's own eyes.

It broke him. That's what losing someone you loved would do to you. Gwyn could understand how thoroughly grief could cut into you. How empty and hollow it could leave you. So she swallowed her tears and looked into the sorrow and agony that filled his eyes.

"I'm not going to die," she promised, thinking about how much her mother and sister's death affected her, and how miserable she had been without them.

Death never became easier. No matter how many times you experienced it. the gaping hole in your chest would never become smaller.