A court of water and worlds

Chapter #44

Just as promised, the camps stopped clipping wings.
Azriel winnowed Gwyn home and told Rhys and Feyre what Balthazar had informed him about.
Azriel didn't understand why Balthazar had to interrupt him at three in the morning, but azriel did ask Balthazar to go to him first, not straight to the high lord and lady if he had information.
After Azriel told them, their plan was set in place.
Once they could ensure that the camps were cooperating, that's when they would learn how to take down Koschei.
Azriel was ready. He wore his fighting leathers, with his Illyrian swords and truth teller still strapped to his side.
He decided to take truth teller even though it felt wrong.
He couldn't get the fact that it was Gwyn's dagger, and the ancient Gwyndolin made dagger out of his mind.
Him and Gwyn hadn't spoken much about the sword after they left the house but they definitely needed too.
When he took her home right before he went to Rhys and Feyre, they didn't say much.
Gwyn asked what had happened and he told her not to worry and that was that.
He continued to pack other essentials like food and a canteen in his pack.
Because of his wings he couldn't have a large pack. It was also more of a cross body bag that clipped at the top so it didn't affect his flying.
Though he mostly Likely won't be flying much. That would be far too noticeable if he ever hoped to get close enough to Koschei.
Last time Koschei knew exactly when they had arrived, so this time he had taken precautions.
His shadows would be surrounding him the whole time and he would stick to winnowing instead of flying.
He finished clipping the two straps of the pack together over his shoulder.
Gwyn.
What would he tell her?
Would she want to know if he left for a while?
He wasn't doing anything immensely dangerous, just watching, and studying.
Naturalistic observation was the best way to learn your opponents weaknesses.
So he was just going to watch and report back.
Azriel looked down at the dagger sheathed at his side.
When Koschei saw it he had a conniption, but that was because Gwyn was close to it. Maybe it wouldn't glow if she wasn't there.
Still Azriel unsheathed the blade and set it on his desk, not willing to take the risk. Even though it would be useful, Koschei may be able to sense it, therefore sensing him.
Azriel sheathed another dagger in its place and winnowed to The Continent.
—-
He felt the ground beneath his feet shift as well as the wind patterns and he knew he had arrived.
He kept a thin veil of shadows surrounding him, making him invisible.
Azriel's magic likely wouldn't work on Koschei so he would also have to be invisible by staying hidden. He couldn't rely solely on his shadows.
Good thing "sneaking around," as Gwyn had called it, was something he was very good at.
Ever since he was young, staying hidden was easy, no one wanted to see him anyway.
Camouflaging just became so natural to him that he does it unintentionally now.
He stayed in the background, unknown, unseen. A pretty accessory Mor had once called him when she was very drunk.
Azriel made his way through the full trees taking soundless steps, heel to toe, while his eyes darted around, alert for anything in the dense forest.
He went as close as possible to the lake without attracting any attention. He picked a sturdy hidden branch, and winnowed up. There he silently sat down and watched.
That was another thing he was good at, being silent.
He learned when to shut his mouth at a young age thanks to his father.
The years spent in that cell as a youth taught him many things.
Silence is better than sycophancy, arguing with his father was never an option, so the only way Azriel could win was by being silent and not giving his father the satisfaction. His silence was used as the loudest scream, like lightning with no thunder, so terrifying and deadly with no warning boom.
That and being impassive. Those years spent enduring the dark cell and his family's abuse taught him how to hide his emotions.
Emotions are controversial things, you can be killed for having them just as you can be praised.
Azriel had learned just as his silence had been a weapon he would forge one out of his expressions as well. Remaining emotionless was the only other defense he had against the wrath of his father.
And lastly Azriel had learned that there was no such thing as enough. No matter how hard he tried to stay quiet and still, his father still won. Regardless of what Azriel did it wasn't enough to keep him from breaking.
Azriel kept a watchful eye on the lake even as the sun set and Twilight broke.
The night sky reminded Azriel of Gwyn's eyes in the candle light. Dark and shadowed blue with a dusting of stars. Though Azriel always thought her freckles looked like the most beautiful stars he had ever seen. He has wanted to map them out as if her skin was the night sky itself.
Yes, he thought Gwyn was beautiful but that's not what drove him to always want to be with her. It was her voice and her smile and the way she made him feel.
Azriel had never wanted to be seen, he liked his camouflage, but with Gwyn...
He wanted her to see him, and she did. She has seen more of him than even his brothers.
He has never had to ration his grins and smiles around her because no matter how terrible he felt she could always make him smile.
And the other night, he had been reluctant to take her to Velaris, but when he looked at her there were no shadows in her eyes.
Sometimes when he saw those shadows he remembered the day he had found her...
He wondered how she could still be all smiles and laughter.
He wondered if it was just a mask like the many he had donned. He wanted to know everything about her, from her mind to her heart to her body...
Azriel knew what this meant and for some reason he hadn't seen it coming. He had loved Gwyn, but as a friend until recently.
That night when he whispered the constellations in her ear and heard her shudder, it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever heard, aside from her voice.
Mother, he missed her voice. He made a mental note to ask her to sing when he got back. She likely would make him sing first. So feisty, she was a fireball like Nesta but not nearly in the same way.
She challenged him and pushed him but also supported him.
Fuck, she had even held him after a nightmare. No one had ever done that for him before. Mostly because he had never let anyone see him in that state for fear of judgment. But Gwyn didn't judge him, she just understood.
How had he not seen it before—-
Right, Elain.
Suddenly the weight of Elain's rejection didn't feel so heavy. He always knew he was unworthy of her.
And if he was unworthy of Elain then, he was so incredibly unworthy of Gwyn.
Cauldron, he couldn't even understand how she could stand to be around him after all the things he had done, after all the things she had seen him do. He didn't understand how she didn't flinch at the touch of his scarred hands and the evil things they had done.
No, he could never be with her. He would never sully Gwyn that way, she deserved the world and he was merely the darkest part of it.
Azriel heard a rustle in the woods below him and Snapped out of his thought spiral.
If he was going to find Koschei's weakness he had to stay alert.
So Azriel kept a watchful eye on the forest below, veiled in shadows, desperately trying not to think of the priestess with starlight blue eyes and constellations for skin and how she could never be his.