A court of water and worlds

Chapter #56

Azriel packed his bag with only the Necessities.
Clothes, and various weapons.
He left the bag on his bed while he went to meet with Rhys.
Him and Gwyn were going to spring.
Alone.
Despite Feyre forgiving Tamlin, she still didn't want to be around him. And Rhys would probably kill him on sight, so would Nesta.
So that's why they were going alone.
Azriel left Gwyn to pack. They 're leaving for spring court tonight.
All they knew was that the sword was off the coast of spring, not the exact location. It could take weeks to actually find. So they needed as much time as they could get.
They planned to bring the made dagger Gwendolyn because "like calls to like". If Gwyn was using the dagger then she might be able to track down Narben.
That's currently what Azriel was on his way to get. The made knife.
He winnowed to the mountain palace where it had been warded by Helion.
"Az," Rhys said breathlessly, meeting him in the hallway.
Had he been running?
"Is everything alright?" Azriel questioned.
"Yeah," Rhys scrunched his brow, "have you seen Nyx?"
"Lose him again?" Azriel snorted at his friend.
He immediately sent his shadows to search for his mischievous nephew.
"I can't keep up with his winnowing," Rhys threw his hands in the air dramatically, "and he started to use his wings the other day so he is always running away. I'm beginning to think he doesn't like me," Rhys frowned.
"You can be overbearing at times," Az argued, "remember the last time I was sick—
"I was not being overbearing then," Rhys Interrupted, "you just don't take care of yourself."
That might be true.
Azriel rolled his eyes, "Nyx is in the living room on the fourth level," he reported to Rhys when his shadows returned to him.
He watched relief seep into his high lord's eyes, "thank you, I'm going to go get him. The dagger is in the same room and Helion took down the wards."
Azriel nodded, finding worry in his friend's eyes.
"Please be careful Az, I don't..." he paused, "I know you think it is an insult in the highest regard when someone is worried about you," Azriel began to protest but Rhys continued.
"But, I do worry about you. With everything happening, just promise me you'll be safe. Don't die, there are still wonderful things in life you have yet to experience."
Azriel gave him a look, "you sound like you've gone through a spiritual awakening or something."
"I'm just reminding you. We all need a reminder sometimes," Rhys didn't even try to hide his grim expression.
Yes, they had all gone through times where they felt hopeless. Though Azriel was the only one who came close to doing something about it.
Somehow Rhys always caught him at his weakest moments. Saved him from many dangers including himself.
Cas always helped too. Always managed to make him smile no matter what. They would both remind him what life still has in store for him.
Rhys in particular always believed Azriel had a mate, and told him as much from a young age. Such a hopeless romantic.
"I know," Azriel's heart warned at his friends gesture to make sure he was ok, "I'm doing alright Rhys. I promise I will be safe."
Azriel knew just how true that statement was. He was alright. Which was weird since there was literally an impending war and so much uncertainty. But lately... he might even consider himself happy.
Rhys gave him a knowing grin and walked over to embrace him.
Azriel laughed and hugged him back, feeling lighter.
He sometimes forget how much he loved his friends. How happy that made him.
Rhys pulled away quickly, "shit, Nyx. I got to go," he said winnowing away, "good luck."
Azriel watched as the last bit of darkness disappeared, and made his way to retrieve the dagger.
He found it in the middle of the room sitting on a table.
He picked it up, automatically feeling relief, and something else. He ignored the feeling. He had almost forgotten how much he missed this knife.
It fit so perfectly in his hand.
According to Gwyn's theory, this wasn't his correct made item but then why did it feel so right? So perfect?
Cauldron, he really missed this dagger.
He hadn't been able to access the darkness that dwelt inside him for so long. Now holding this dagger, the perfect weapon to channel it. The darkness was pushing trying to find its way out.
He pushed back, remaining in control.
Now was not the time for using his powers.
So he put his darkness on a leash and sheathed the mighty weapon.
But right before he let go of the dagger he felt that strange feeling again, but not on his hand which touched the sword. In his temple. In his mind.
It felt like someone was pushing memories into his mind.
Memories of... Luna.
What?
The memory of her taking the dagger out of the rock changed... mother his head hurt.
Tamlin... Tamlin was the one who took the dagger out of the rock. Luna hadn't been the one glowing with moonlight. It was Tamlin, he was glowing with life.
O cauldron... he remembered.
Luna and Tamlin, that we're together. They were... o gods.
How had he forgotten?
How had Tamlin been completely erased from his memories?
All this time... that's how it was connected.
Tamlin and Luna were the original owners of Narben and Gwendolyn. Of life and death.
They had planned to stop the war but they couldn't find Narben in time and...
O, Luna.
A sob escaped his throat and his knees threatened to buckle.
How had he forgotten?
Had Tamlin known this the whole time?
Had Rhys and Cas?
Azriel couldn't breathe.
How on earth had he forgotten?
He allowed the tears to freely flow down his cheeks.
Tamlin was Luna's mate.
There was no way he could have forgotten.
Azriel didn't even know how to feel anymore. Eris was already confusing enough and now Tamlin.
He remembered how much Luna had loved Tamlin.
Azriel wiped his tears and took a few unsteady breaths.
He had to keep it together because, if Gwyn's theory was right. If they were truly the new owners of the made duo, he couldn't let them suffer the same fate as the last owners. And if the last owners were mates... What did that mean for him and Gwyn?
We're they—
He shoved that idea so far down regardless of how much it made something inside him spark.
What the fuck was happening?
He needed to tell someone now. He needed to tell Gwyn. Now.
He winnowed back to the house of wind and made his way to the library. To her.
He entered the library quickly greeting Clotho then weaving around bookshelves to get to Gwyn.
Gods, he needed her right now.
He turned a corner to quickly, and ran into
someone—
"Elain?"
"Az," she sounded breathless like she too had been sprinting through the library.
His shadows disappeared at the sight of her.
How long had it been since he had last seen her?
She looked so thin and pale. This was the worst he had ever seen her.
"What are you doing here?" He asked and for some reason he felt weaker.
Like his powers were dampened. Why did this always happen when he was around her?
"I was returning some books?" She gestured to the books in her arms.
"Right," he cleared his throat nervously, "of course."
He looked down to see what books she had—
They were the same ones he and Gwyn were looking at not long ago to find information about the made items.
Why was Elain trying to get information on them?
"Why are you here?" She questioned.
"I'm going to get Gwyn, we are going to spring—-
"Your knife," she interrupted, her eyes widening. She pointed to the made dagger sheathed at his side.
He studied her for a moment. If she was made, she could definitely since that, this item was as well.
"You got your knife back," she said almost in a dazed state.
Her fingers twitched as if trying to restrain herself.
"Elain, are you alright?" He asked, concerned. He had never seen her like this before.
She quickly nodded and rubbed her eyes as if trying to rub away the daze.
"I'm sorry Az. It's just been a long week," she rubbed at her temples and gave him a slight smile.
One he did not return.
He knew Elain. He knew that this was one of her forced smiles. Had she forgotten all that time they spent together? Forgotten that Azriel could read her because of it?
"I heard you and Gwyn were going to spring but I didn't know why?" She pressed on.
"We are going to retrieve Narben," he watched as her eyes widened but she schooled her features quickly.
"Be careful, you and Gwyn both," she pulled a book out of the crock of her arm, "I was hoping to give this to her but seeing as you're on your way..." she trailed off.
He nodded and took the book from her, "I can give it to her."
"Thank you. I really need to go," she said as she turned and left.
She was definitely not ok. She wasn't herself at all.
She looked like she was withering away.
He tried to pull himself together long enough to get to Gwyn's room.
He needed to see her right now. For no other reason than to calm the fuck down.
He just had to get the dagger and pack his bag. Nothing difficult.
Somehow he managed to find out his complicated history with Tamlin. And ran into Elain who looked like she was dying.
He sent a shadow to tell Ferye of her sister's state.
Yes, maybe he didn't want to be with Elain anymore but that didn't mean he wanted her dead.
He had loved Elain— still loves her. Just not in the same way.
His breathing was turning Ragged by the time he finally got to Gwyn's room.
He knocked on the door and immediately she opened the door and he calmed at the sight of her.
"Az, what's wrong?"
He held her piercing gaze. The ocean blue cut through his anxiety and replaced it with a faint glow within his chest that he finally acknowledged.
Gwyn was... she was his—
"Az?"
Holy shit! Holy fucking shit! How had he never seen it before. All this time spent with her. Cauldron, he hated himself for not seeing it sooner.
She touched his cheek and he immediately melted into her touch.
"I—- I" he stuttered as her thumb swept across his cheek in a soothing motion. she didn't understand what she was doing did she? Who she was touching?
She didn't truly know what they were to each other, Did she?
She pulled him inside her room.
"Az talk to me," she sounded concerned.
She guided him over to sit on her bed... her bed. He was in her room. Her scent was wrapped fully around him. He wanted to pull her close and kiss her and never let her go. As per usual but the need for that had never been as strong as it was right now.
He had to turn away from her eyes. Had to escape her gaze before he did something he'd regret.
He turned to find that she had packed a bag. For spring.
Right.
They were going on a mission together.
He needed to remain calm.
He really wanted to cry.
Why the fuck did he want to cry?
"I'm alright," he most definitely was not.
"No," Gwyn said, shaking her head, "don't lie to me. If you're not ready to talk about it, that's ok, but don't lie."
He nodded looking at her again, not into her eyes but at her face.
Gods, she was perfect. She was so utterly perfect...
How had the cauldron done this to her? Why had it paired her with someone like him?
She deserves so much better.
He couldn't tell her. He wouldn't do that to her.
He shoved the feeling so far down, ignoring his instincts to kiss her until she was dizzy.
To be inside her until she was so wrapped in his scent that everyone knew she was his and that he was hers.
So he took a slow breath and tried to collect himself.
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Hi loves,
I am so sorry! It's been so long. I have been so busy lately I just haven't had any time to write. But I finally finished this chapter this morning and started on a new one as well. I wish I could write more. I wish I could quit school and work and all other activities and just eat pancakes and write all day but that's not possible, sadly.
I woke up at 5:00 this morning and am still shaking from all the coffee I drank so forgive me if there are some typos.
Also if you want to read more about Luna and Tamlin I am writing their story called "a court of unshed tears."
I love you all very much and I will try to finish another chapter soon. Thank you sooo much for reading you all make me very happy😘✨