Hurts so good

54. End Of TheBeginning

He had to shower, there was just too much blood, and god the smell was sickening it was all too much. Rushing to the toilet pot, nothing came out, just dry heaving that almost brought tears to his eyes. It had to stop, someone had to stop the voices in his head, the same voices that kept asking for more, demanding for more, never satisfied. 

The water was scorching hot, but that didn't matter because that meant it was thoroughly cleaning him, removing all of it, and even if it took using the entire bottle of body wash and shampoo just to get rid of the smell, so be it.

Stumbling out of the shower, everything was a blur, the darkness was still demanding to be let out, it still wanted to play, he couldn't lose himself like this, it had to stop, beast or no beast he was ending it all, he did what he had to do at the time but now it was time to like the fucker up.

 There was only one way to lock the beast back inside and that's what he was going to do. Pulling on just a pair of sweat pants without drying himself up and his hair dripping water, he staggers into the kitchen where everyone was in, but he only had eyes for two, and thank fuck they were standing together by the counter talking, he didn't care about what, and the raging monster inside him didn't give him any choice. Someone might have said something to him, asked if he was okay, or whatever bullshit but he was on a mission. Everything else could wait and everyone else could fuck themselves for all he cared.

Standing between the two men he looks them straight in the eye and he drops to his knees hands behind his back and head bowed. There was no questioning what the gesture meant. This was submission and he was giving himself to the two men he knew would be able to satisfy the beast.

The room went quiet. Everyone was in shock but mostly Terry and Nial. Not in a million years had they ever thought this day would come but here it was Tan on his knees submitting to the both of them.

"Tan?" Terry's voice was shaking
"Please make it stop" The vulnerability in his voice was nothing like the overconfident Tan they knew.

Running his hand in Tan's hair, Nial grabs his hair, "Is the doc done with the playroom?" He asks Richard.

"Yes he's done, he was stitching Emmie's arm in your room"

Forcing Tan to look at him, "go and wait for us in the playroom and lose the pants"

After he was gone, Terry let out a heavy shaky sigh and Nial didn't look any better, they really didn't know what to make of this situation. Tan was one of the few people who always had shit under control, so seeing him break like that, they really didn't know what to make of the situation. But in all this one thing was clear as day, Tan needed a way to let it all out and they were going to give it to him.

Tan reached the middle of the playroom and fell on his knees after stripping and waited. his entire body was vibrating from the energy and his head was running wild. Lord, he couldn't stop thinking of the box. How on earth were they going to get the news to his parents. Ava's boy's head in the box had been the last thing they had expected. After surviving his mommy's head being delivered to his doorstep, the boy had had the very same fate, he regretted agreeing to him going to his parents.

Tan wanted to bring back Xavier and kill him himself again. The man deserved worse than what Terry had done to him and his boy. Instead of calming down, Tan was riling up, his temper was rising and now his body shook out of anger.

''hey hey calm down'' Terry ran his hand through Tan's head ''We'll take care of you, but first we have to lay some ground rules''

''Fuck the rules, just beat me already, just fucking stop the voices and we can all move the fuck on''