The Vampire Slayer Diaries

Once More With Feeling

Lying in bed late at night, I stared at the celling. It's been so long since I've come back and I finally got my thirst under control, it took time and a lot of blood...but sometimes I still felt as if I was on another planet, like I was floating and numb and I just couldn't get back to earth.

I tried to stay strong for the gang, for Nick, for my family and...for Spike. Things changed since our make out sessions, I feel myself getting more attached and that worried me. People who get close to me.... end up leaving. Except for my aunts and my mother, I've watched everyone in my family pass away with my own eyes, the first person being my aunt Nora. I didn't want to see Spike end up the same way... not my mate.

I needed to break it off before things changed and I got too attached but how could I do that? Not now, when I've gotten this close to him, I knew I would never be able to go back to how we used to be...

The sound of wind chimes brought me out of my thoughts, and I sighed, turning to find my alarm clock going off, it was already 7 am. I grabbed it, looking at it, then put it back. Not caring to turn it off, and slowly got out of bed and headed into my bathroom.

Shaking my head clear, I took a shower and got ready for the day.

----

Later in the afternoon at the shop. Anya and I were looking at a bridal magazine, while I wrote intently on a loose-leaf pad and gave my opinion. As the maid of honor it was part of my job....some of Anya's idea were a little much but it was her day. I wondered if I would ever have that. I couldn't imagine Spike in a tux.

Anyway Xander, Buffy, Willow and Tara were in research mode. There were customers milling about, Giles took an item from Dawn, giving her a stern look and Nick was working the blood bank. He and Dawn were giving each other space. I felt bad for my brother having to go through this but everyone knows how hard the first love is. He has to go through it just like I did.

Giles suddenly appeared in front of me, with a serious looking axe and a hopeful smile, I raised an eyebrow but smiled back politely and got up, pulling off my leather jacket to reveal my training clothes. I looked up at the clock seeing it was 4:30. Buffy joined us and we headed into the back.

----

(Third POV)

While Buffy took patrol in a cemetery on the other side, Victoria took this one. The hellmouth were getting more cocky, she could feel a fight for territory coming, so she had to patrol a lot. She walked through the unusually blue night, thinking to herself and looked around.

'EVERY SINGLE NIGHT

THE SAME ARRANGEMENT

I GO OUT AND FIGHT THE FIGHT

STILL I ALWAYS FEEL

THIS STRANGE ESTRANGEMENT

NOTHING HERE IS REAL

NOTHING HERE IS RIGHT

I'VE BEEN MAKING SHOWS OF TRADING

BLOWS

JUST HOPING NO ONE KNOWS

THAT I'VE BEEN'

A hellmouth attacked, and Victoria fought with him in a rote and unusually synchronized style.

GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS

WALKING THROUGH THE PART

NOTHING SEEMS TO PENETRATE MY HEART

She staked the vamp in the heart, he turned to dust as she moved on, finding two more vamps and a demon who was doing a ritual sacrificing a handsome young man tied to a tree.