Divergent High

Chapter 43~ The conversation

Tris POV
Tobias and I ride home and for some weird reason there's an awkward silence. He parks the car and we go up to our apartment. I close the door behind me and tobias walks into the bedroom. I slip my shoes off and go follow him. "Is something wrong?" I ask leaning in the doorway. The room is dim and the only light comes from the barely open shades. "No. Just thinking I guess." He says with a sigh. He changes into black sweatpants and doesn't bother with a shirt, even though it's only like 5:00, he ready for bed.

I walk over to him and sit next to him on the bed. "Whatcha thinking about?" I ask. I take his hand and draw tiny circles on his palm. "Life." He answers. "Oh." "Don't get the wrong idea." He says to reassure me. "It's not really you." He says. "But it's a little me." "Well you'd have to be part of it." He says and now I'm totally confused. "What do you mean?" I ask. He looks at me and his bold blue eyes stare at me. "Well.. I want a baby." He says and I swear my heart skips a beat. "Wha-" I try to say but he cuts me off. "I know we talked about it and said we'd wait and everything but.." He says. He stands up and paces while running his fingers through his hair. "But I want one. I want a baby!" He says.

A baby?? But we can't have one now. We're still in high school and next year we'll be in collage! "Tobias.. I want one too but right now just isn't the time." I say. "I know that. But.. Being in that place made me realize how much I'd love to be a dad." He says. I feel bad when I see the joy on his face, he really would be a great dad. "Tobias. You will be the best dad there is but we can't have one now! We're still in high school! And collage is coming up! Don't you want to live your life a little??" I ask him. He stops pacing so he can look me in the eyes. "Yes, but I know my life has a child of my own planned." He says. "But what if that's not planned for me right now." I say.

"You don't know that. Once you get pregnant and have our child then-" I cut him off. "Hold up! Your already planning my life!" I say standing up. "Don't I get a say?! I have to carry it for nine freakin months!" I say annoyed and on the verge of angry. "But tris. Think of it. Our own baby." He says taking my hands in his. I look in his eyes and see hope, love, joy but also a hint of sadness. I'm sure that I'm the person who put that sadness there. "Tobias, I can't right now. And you cant just plan that kind of thing and not let me have a say in it." I say taking my hands away.

I walk over to the dresser and out my phone in my pocket. I walk out of the bedroom and I hear Tobias's footsteps behind. "Where are you going?" He asks. "I just need to think. Get some fresh air." I tell him. I open the door but don't go out yet. I stand there thinking, replaying the pain in his eyes over and over in my mind. But I finally bring myself to open it all the way and walk out.