Heartless

20

"Hey Ivy can you give me a cup of coffee?" Kate asked, I nodded and filled her a cup of coffee. My hoodie sleeve slipped up, revealing the marks. "What's that?" She asked.

"What's what?" I moved away uncomfortably. I could feel Yelena eyeing me from behind.

"Ivy." Kate whispered. "You said you wouldn't do it again. You promised." She whispered, looking into my eyes hopelessly.

"You know what, I'm sorry but I used to do it, it's nothing new, and if you read hundreds, well thousands of hate comments-"

"I thought you only read ten." Yelena said, standing up.

"No, when you read a thousand hate comments about yourself, you start to feel things. And that's just the coping mechanism I learned. I'm sorry." I said, sitting down. Kate gulped and looked away.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yelena asked softly, scooting closer to me. She grabbed my hand and tried to flip it over, I didn't let her. But I let myself relax and she flipped it over successfully this time, then pulled up my sleeve. "Sweetheart." She whispered sadly, tracing the lines of the cuts. I heard Kate gasp when she saw how much I had done it.

"I really don't want to do this right now, Yelena." I said, trying to pull my sleeve back down, but she stopped me and grabbed my hand to kiss it.

"Ivy why did you do this to yourself?" Kate asked; moving closer and looking at my arm.

"I'm sorry guys." Yelena rubbed my back and kissed my cheek softly.

"We're here for you Ivy." Yelena whispered. "Everyone here cares about you and doesn't want you to do this."

"Baby, can we stop talking about this?" I asked, she nodded but lifted up my sleeve more, revealing more cuts. Yelena and Kate visibly winced. "Ok, we're done." I pulled my sleeve back down and leaned back. I frowned as I saw Yelena looking upset, the corners of her mouth were pointed down and her eyes were shiny. "Hey, don't cry." I whispered, hugging her.

"I just don't understand why you would hurt yourself so badly." She said in a low voice, Kate joined in on the hug.

"Hey guys, what's up? Can I join the group hug?" Pietro asked, walking over to us and hugging me. I started sobbing into Yelena's shoulder. "What's wrong?" He asked. I pulled away and turned to him.

"I saw the comments people were posting on Tony's announcement that I was the newest Avenger." I told him.

"People are just jealous. Kate told me about how much hate she got when she got announced, Wanda did too." He said, grabbing himself a glass of water and sitting down in front of me. "They don't actually think that way about you and you shouldn't listen to them."

"Thank you Pietro." I said gratefully, he patted me on the back and hugged me tightly for a second before kissing Kate on the top of the head. "Baby?"

"Yes sweetheart." Yelena said, I blushed and grabbed her hand, squeezing it and then letting go. "Can we go back to our room?" I asked her, she nodded and we walked hand in hand back to our room. I broke into tears right as she shut the door.

"Hey, don't cry sweetheart." She grabbed my face gently and wiped the tears off of my face with her thumbs while smiling at me.

"I love you so much." I sobbed. "But I don't think I can do this?" Her smile fell.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I don't think I can be in the Avengers if this is what I feel like."

"Hey, hey." She started smiling again, and she pulled me into a big hug, putting her hand on the back of my head and holding me protectively. "You can do this, I know you can. And I know it's hurtful to hear those words but they don't mean anything. We all love you." She whispered while slowly swaying back and forth. "It's ok babygirl." She said as I continued to cry into her shoulder.

After a few minutes I had relaxed and wasn't crying anymore. I was just slowly rocking back and forth with her as I cling onto her for dear life. "Are you ok now sweetheart?" She asked, kissing the top of my head.

"Yes." I sniffed. "I love you so much."

"I love you too babygirl." She said, I let go of her and reached for the door handle.

"What's happening, Pietro told me that Ivy was having a mental breakdown." Steve barged into the room.

"That's awful sweet of you to come check on her, but she's fine now Steve." Yelena smiled warmly at him.

"Well, I'm glad you're ok Ivy." He patted me on the shoulder and gave him an awkward hug.

"Oh hey Steve, is Ivy in here?" Tony walked up. "Yes she is, um. I'm going to send you on a quick mission with Pietro. You should be back by tomorrow." He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room.

"Oh ok, what are we doing?"

"You're killing somebody."

"Ooh fun, what time do we leave?"