Heartless

28 ⚠️

⚠️ SELF HARM ⚠️

I dragged a broken shard from the shattered mirror across my wrist. Fuck it felt so good, I laughed and did it again. I decided it was probably a good time to stop after I made a couple more marks. "Sweetheart, are you in here?" Yelena walked into the bathroom and gasped at the sight, my heart sank a little and I frowned but I forced myself to make a straight face. "Please don't do this to yourself." She pleaded, staring at all the blood.

"That really doesn't help." I said, cleaning up the blood. "The mirrors already shattered, I think the reflection is finally accurate." I said while laughing. "You get it?" She shook her head. "Because I'm broken!" I exclaimed, punching the mirror again. "Wow, gets more accurate every time." I smiled and left the room.

"Sweetheart, please come back." She grabbed my wrist, I winced at the sudden pressure. "I'm sorry." She apologized quickly.

"It's ok." I said immediately, seeing the hopeless look on her face. "Lena, I have to go do something, um. I'll be back in a little bit." I ran away and stopped when I saw Steve in the hallway. "Hey." I said coldly.

"Hey." He matched my tone.

"Do you by any chance know who killed Kate?" I asked, calming myself down, trying not to get too angry or emotional.

"Yes I do." He said. "But I'm not telling you." He smirked.

"Why not?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Because I know you're going to go after them and kill them. You're going to get yourself killed Ivy, I can't let that happen." He said in a low voice.

"I don't care if I die, I just want them to get what they deserve. If they think that they could kill my sister, and get away with it-"

"You're not killing them Ivy. And that's final, go back to your room, and calm down. And what did you do to your wrist?" He asked, grabbing my arm.

"None of your business." I said, trying to pull it away, but he was too strong.

"Did you do this to yourself?"

"I said it's none of your fucking business." I pulled away again and he let go this time. I flipped him off and went back to my room, Yelena was sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. "You ok?" I asked her, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah." She nodded and turned to me. "What did you go do?"

"Well, I was going to go see if I could kill the person that killed Kate but then Steve stopped me." I explained.

"Good."

"What do you mean good? They deserve to die after what they did." I spat, leaning away from her, she just stared into my eyes and I saw a certain emptiness I've never seen before. My heart stopped when I realized it was the reflection of my own.

"What?" She asked, I let my body relax. I couldn't let myself become the murderous bitch I used to be. That's the person Kate tried so hard to get my to forget, Yelena saw the look on my face and pulled me in for a hug. "You're ok sweetheart, you're ok."

"She's really gone isn't she?" I asked, tears flooding my eyes.

"She's gone." She sniffed. I choked out a sob and cried into her chest for thirty minutes straight before I was able to pull myself back together.

"She's really gone."

"Yeah, she is." Yelena rubbed my back and have me a lingering kiss on the lips, I smiled into the kiss but immediately frowned once we pulled away. "Do you need another hug?"

"Yeah." She pulled me in for another hug that only lasted a minute before I pulled away again.

"Fuck." I cursed under my breath.

"What is it?" She moved closer to me and put her hand on my thigh to comfort me.

"It's just, my whole life, I believed that she would always be here. And she's not, and I have to live a majority of my life that way." I whispered, I bit my tongue and stared down at the bed, fighting back tears.

"At least the last thing you told her was that you loved her." Yelena pointed out.

"How do you know that?" I turned to her with watery eyes.

"I heard it." She said simply, rubbing my thigh. "You're going to be ok, Ivy. It's going to hurt like hell and you're going to miss her so fucking bad some days that you can't even breathe but it's going to be fine."

"How is it going to be fine?" I choked out. "She's gone, my sister is gone."

"Because I'll be right here with you every step of the way."