Sugar & Spice

Part four: Let it all out and have a cinnamon roll with us

"You know what, your right. Alphonse is the guy that I fell in love with, and he fell in love with me. And yet here I was letting my own insecurity get the better of me, but I know that won't happen ever again! I trust him more than anything else in the world! And I'm not nor never lose my faith and trust to him; not to anyone else or a knife. Because I love Alphonse!"

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After a moment of silence, I couldn't help but feel flustered with myself. Never in my life have I ever had an outburst like that; even my body began to shake. Seth on the other hand seems to be impressed with my sudden growth of confidence as he just smiled while I try to cool down the redness on my cheeks.

"There you go; grit your teeth, stand your ground, I like that. You know, I believed Al when he said I was lucky you didn’t beat my ass, you've got spunk. Hell, you got more than that."

"I don't know about that, but thank you. I'd do try though."

"Maybe somewhere a long time ago; little bits of me and little bits of you and little bits of him, maybe we weren't strangers, maybe things weren’t so fucked up and messy. Because Jolene, I know you, just like I know Alphonse, just like he knows you. And that little piece of you that brought you here tonight, that feeling in your gut that told you to take this long walk home, you know me too," Seth said as he just holds his attention to the burning campfire.

"What do you mean?"

"I don’t know if you’re a spiritual person, hell I’m not, but when you know, you know."

I wasn't sure that I understand what he was saying but it did make me wonder about it. Could have there been a time when all of us weren't strangers? Could have there been a time when all of us were very close. Either way, I wasn't expecting Seth to just suddenly say something like that; it stund me that much I couldn't help but stare at him. He is literally giving me mixed messages.

"What?"

"Sorry. I'm struggling to understand you right now," I said to him as my tone is filled with honesty.

"You don't get me? Oh yeah, I don’t either." Nothing else was said after that as we both just keep our eyes on the fire. Clearly, I'm not going anywhere with casual talk; if I want Seth to talk then I might have to do the one thing that I didn't want to happen. I need him to get angry, worked up, pissed off. It really is the only way to have Seth opening up. And I know just the topic to set him off.

"Seth, be honest with me. How do you feel about Alphonse right now?"

"You want me to spell it out for you? I can do that if that’s what you really want."

"If that's alright."

"Sure," he said while turning his full attention on me but as he did, I noticed the cold expression in his eyes. It's working, my plan is working.

"Listen, I’m only going to say this once. you seem like a nice person; you have a gentle smile, eyes that shimmer and a comforting aura just surrounding you. I love Alphonse and there's a fucked up part of me that wants nothing more than to just destroy everything in the way of me getting back to him! To just tear it all up! Because how could he ever forget about me?! How could he possibly leave me behind?! Not one call! Not one fucking letter! He just ran away and let it all go! Let all of me go and now he’s happy, he’s happy! And I want to hate you for that but you seem so good."

Normally I would be slightly scared at this point in time but considering that I have talked to him for a while, his outburst doesn't affect me that much anymore. And to be honest; there's something oddly refreshing to see Seth like this, opening up about how he really feels. He really loves Al, with all his heart, he hates the fact that he's moved on and he honestly wants to hurt me since I took his prince away.

"Is that what you wanted?! You wanted to hear me give up?! You wanted to hear me admit defeat! Were you so fucking insecure that you needed to see my pain to know you were safe?! Well there, you're safe! Ok! Are you happy? Is that all is that all you want from me?! Are we even now! Because after tomorrow, I’m out of here and you can go back to your lives!"

I was expecting him to start yelling at me, but to also start crying in the process is a different story. I understand that he was hurting but I never guessed he would have that much hurt and heartache inside him; even the expression in his eyes have changed. Seeing him like this, being so broken and defenceless just makes me pity him. But at least we were getting somewhere, now I just need him to tell me about what happened that night, the reason for why I came here.

TO BE CONTINUED

📢ALPHONSE AND SETH DON'T BELONG TO ME! THEY ARE YUURIVOICE CHARACTERS SO ALL RIGHTS AND CREDITS GOES TO HIM AND THE TEAM!📢