Sugar & Spice

Part six: Let it all out and have a cinnamon roll with us

At first, I honestly expected Seth to say something completely different but he caught me off guard. He was taking money that was for Derek, he was risking his own safety and was keeping some money aside so that he could take Al away from the pain and actually live a happy life. I'm actually starting to get emotional just thinking about it but I got to be strong, I have to make it through this.

"What happened next?"

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"Al wanted to go, I could see how distant he was becoming but I kept begging and doing whatever I could to make him stay, even if it wasn’t right. then when his parents passed, I was so scared that him leaving meant leaving me for good, so we fought. So when he needed me most, I could only think about myself; about how obsessed I was with this idea of being his saviour, how great it would feel to run away and be better and be happy. If he left then what was it all for. And I get it that logic is messed up, I’ve had years to think that over you don’t gotta tell me that, but al he was my hero. He was this beacon of hope, this portrait of what I could be, what we could be and I smeared my shame all over him. I broke him. The last good part of myself was the heart that I gave him and I made every excuse in the book to keep him around just a little longer so I could show him, that there was a reason for all of this shit, that my goals never shifted away from a life with him."

As he explained to me, the emotion on his face slowly started to change. I didn't know what I should do; I would comfort Robin and Alphonse whenever they were upset but with Seth, it was something that I had no idea on how to approach it, but I still took my chances. Rather than saying something, I got up from the bench and sat next to him. Not too close but not too far away.

"Those dreams we shared as kids, that it was still what I wanted. the path to get there was just fucked. And Al left, that same day Derek realised I was stealing his money. I knew he was coming to get what he was owed and I just I had no more fight left in me. I’d lost myself, I lost Al, why should I even bother trying? So I got shity drunk, Derek rolled up and kicked my door in, he beat the shit out of me. I don’t remember much of anything, but I do remember Al standing there in the doorway. I looked at him and I was so ashamed, I was so ashamed that I’d hurt him, that I’d gotten him caught up in all this shit that we did, now my sweet little bubble gum prince had blood on his hands for me. I don't deserve that, I didn’t deserve that."

From the moment he said that, it all fall into place. It all made sense. Everything that Seth did was all for Alphonse, he did all of that just so that he could be happy. And the whole moment at the bar, he was just putting on the tough guy act simply because he was so used to it and didn't want the person he loves so much to see him like that.

"And I take it that Al still doesn't know about the money," I asked as the frown never left his face.

"Al doesn't know anything about the money and I want to keep it that way, him thinking I’m just a bad apple makes it a lot easier for him. And he's not wrong, he's not wrong about me. I’ll never make an excuse for any of the shit I did. I did it because I wanted to because I needed to feel alive like I had some agency, I just...I don’t...I would rather be the only one left thinking; what if."

And there it was, the what-if line. That's something that I have heard a lot of during my time back in the city. While it's people like Robin who would be living on those words, asking themselves that very question every day. We both didn't say anything for a bit, till Seth broke the silence.

"Alright OK, you need to go home now, please," he said while begging for me to leave. And even though I got what I needed but I simply couldn't let everything to end there, especially with how everything was between him and Alphonse. Something needs to be done!

"Seth, there's something I want to ask you."

"Oh god, if you’ve got another question for me I’m gonna cry again and it’s gonna be real ugly! That’s not a threat, it’s a promise!"

"What's your opinion on cinnamon rolls," I asked him. I guess he wasn't expecting that to my question as his facial expression changed from deep sadness to surprise.

"Wait, what? Did you say something about cinnamon rolls?"

"Yes, I did. Now come on," I said as I pulled him up from the bench and walked towards his motorcycle.

"Where are we going?"

"To put it short; you are coming back home with me. For one, I can't just imagine you sleeping out here, I got a spare bed for you to sleep in and I have a friend who went through the trouble to make some food."

"But-"

"But nothing! I'm not taking no for an answer! Now you drive, I'll give you the directions."

(Finally done!! The next chapter is all going to be made up so please bear with me on it when I start😅)

📢ALHPONSE AND SETH DON'T BELONG TO ME! THEY ARE YUURIVOICE CHARACTERS SO ALL RIGHTS AND CREDITS GOES TO HIM AND THE TEAM!📢