Professor Membrane x Reader

Joke & Angst Christmas Drabble

(Y/N)'s POV

Someone spiked the eggnog.

Either that or Membrane was spiking it for himself.

We knew this because I was currently trying to pry him away from a UV laser supposedly going to power his "Santa-Death-Ray".

While I tried to convince him that Santa Claus wasn't real. Gaz told him that Santa was going to invade our house first.

"Don't even joke about that, daughter!" he cried.

"Gaz, please don't encourage him-"

"Better hurry, Dad. He's close by," Gaz deadpanned.

"¡VOY A MATARLO!" Membrane yelled.

"Miguel! Please!" I cried.

"¡Tú eres demasiado tarde! ¡El láser está listo!"

"Oh, for the love of..." I pulled down his collar, yanking him down to my level. "You listen to me, and you listen to me well, Professor. You are not going to build a death ray to kill Santa. He isn't real. He never was real. Now if you would disassem-"

"OH LOOK! THERE HE IS!" The outline of a flying sleigh pulled by magical, mechanical reindeer was visible.

God dammit, Gaz.

"Dios mío, es más peor que pensé," he mumbled. Membrane hurriedly pulled together the last of the components to his Santa-Death-Ray.

"¡VOY A MATAR ESTE HIJO DE PUTA!" he said while readying his weapon.

"Miguel! Please!" I pleaded.

It was at this point that Dib came racing down the stairs. "Dad! Wait! That's not Santa!"

Membrane paused, "Entonces, qué es?"

"It's a UFO!!" Dib said excitedly.

Membrane held the Santa-Death-Ray in a perfunctory manner. "No, no es. Extraterrestres no existen. Cálmate, por favor por lo que yo puedo matar Santa."

"But! But!"

"No. Voy a matarlo. No 'pero's. Ahora sal." He spoke matter-of-factly that Dib did as he was told.

"¿Donde estaba?" He looked at the ray-gun and immediately perked up. "Creo que este es el fin de Santa," he said. It was evident that he was smiling. He primed the laser and took aim at his target.

With a loud, high pitched whir of the device powering up resounding through the room, the children and I covered our ears.

The laser looked like it hit.

However, right after we thought he was hit, the same laser came firing back at Membrane.

It struck him right in the chest. Right in the heart.

He stumbled back.

I rushed to him.

But he was gone.

I wrenched my eyes shut.

And when I opened them, my eyes were burning. I was screaming. Someone was holding me—who was holding me?

"Cállate, mi amor, cállate. Despertarás a los niños." Wait. I recognize that voice.

I wiped my eyes and looked around.

"Miguel." I clung to him.

"Qué pasa, mi amor?" he said. His gloved, robotic hands rubbed my back.

"I had a nightmare..."

"¿Puedes decirme sobre la pesadilla?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, pero yo siempre está aquí."

He wiped the tears from my eyes and laid me down on his chest.

"...Miguel?"

"¿Hm?"

"You know Santa isn't real, right..."

"Claro que sí. Yo maté a Santa hace mucho tiempo." He kissed my head and ruffled my hair. "Ahora, duerme para mí, ¿okay?"

"Mhm."