There is literally not enough of this here. There is not enough anywhere.
I'm ready for the incoming waves of tumblr heathens ready to swoop in
I'm doing this for y'all ;)
Top Ratings
1 in Membrane
1 in Professor Membrane
4 in DILF
6 in Invader...
- so we all know by now that Membrane can't cook - if not now you know - but he sucks - like he can only make super toast,,, that's it - all he's allowed to make is toast - theres several reasons why
- so when you came into his life his kids were overjoyed -no more constant takeout from babysitters - no more arguably bad pudding from Clembrane - no more burnt toast when Foodio is out of order - no more fake food when he IS in order
- REAL FOOD - and you're a baker so - real GOOD food - the children are ecstatic - it doesn't matter if you're even a good person, they love you because food
- you decide to cut the man some slack and try to teach him to cook - after all you can't be there for the kids all the time - but teaching this man to make even the simplest of things was going to be a challenge
- this man was like the Murphy's law of baking - like Jesus Christ why is the stove on?? - why did you put oil in the pan??? - DID YOU PUT WATER ON A GREASE FIRE?!?!
- you nearly have a heart attack trying to show him how to make a grilled cheese sandwich - but you take a deep breath and collect yourself - lets just teach him how to make a regular sandwich
- this mf doesn't have a toaster - he uses a blowtorch - you begin to understand why the only thing he can make is super toast
- calm down (Y/N) just take a few deep bre- - wait oh god what is he doing with a blowtorch in the kitchen where his kids can reach it - okay time to get a real toaster
- one trip to the store later and we have a proper toaster - you have to show him how to work it khdksnd - but no more blowtorch <:) - this is already a huge improvement
- where were we? - oh right. sandvich
- lets make a toasted pb&j - something so simple not even he can fuck it up - he fucked it up - how in the - he put - he put both on the same slice of bread
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- ahem - after staring in a shocked silence for a good minute, you show him the right way to make a pb&j - "ahhh, yes, that seems much more scientific" - bitch what
- ignoring that (hopefully) joke, you give the sandwich to Dib and Gaz - you obviously don't say it was made by Membrane - because he's not allowed to cook
- but now, he might be allowed to make simple sandwiches - because the kids thought it was okay - then you say their dad made it and Gaz spits out her juice
- "HE DID WHAT" - "Gazlene, calm down." - "NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN. HOW DID HE NOT CATCH SOMETHING ON FIRE?!"
- you remember when he put water on a grease fire
- "I'm not too sure myself but good news" - you show Gaz the toaster - she is in awe
- Membrane sees what y'all are doing and comes down and omg - he is so happy his kids liked something he made - this is too wholesome - kinda sad at the same time but wholesome - group hug time
