Professor Membrane x Reader

Concerned Mem x Chaotic! Fem! Reader (short fluff)

AN gonna be mostly dialogue shskhslsgsshdk
rejected titles are as follows
memelord! reader
millennial! reader
crackhead but not really! reader
And my favorite
og tik-tokker! reader

"You're a dilf." You said calmly. This had been going on for about a week. Your neighbor, Professor Membrane, coming in unexpectedly to find you in the middle of doing something extremely stupid.

"A what?" Membrane asked, confusion evident in his voice.

"My wisdom falls onto ears that choose to be deaf when faced with the truth."

"Y/N you're scaring me." Sweat started to roll down the side of his face. "I'd rather die than not understand you."

With a villainous smile, you pulled out an Uno reverse card and replied, "Then perish."

Membrane stared on in horror as you kept speaking in tongues. All of his experiments and nothing had caused him to witness something that caused this level of dread.

He quickly went back to his house and asked his kids for help.

"Gaz please." "No."

"Dib-" "mY TIME HAS COME! I SHALL PROVE MY WORTH TO THE WORLD THROUGH THE EXCEPTIONAL TASK MY FATHER HAS PREPARED!! >:D"

Membrane sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose with gloves fingers. "Son, I need you to translate this... 'internet vernacular'."

Dib looked up at his father quizzically. "Why now? You could've come to me for help all this time. Why didn't you?"

Membrane looked sheepishly to the side as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Well I just..." He paused, " I thought maybe if" another pause, "oKay I didn't want to get you involved, okay? Now help me out."

After arriving at Y/N's house, they stood at the door. There was such a thick tension it could be utilized by a ham, and in fact, was being utilized as we watched this extremely uncomfortable silence. Now don't forget that ham. It's going to come up again soon.

As Dib was about to knock, the door swung open, revealing you, dressed in a Ahegao hoodie over a unicorn onesie. (High key, that'd be a look tho)

"How did-?" "| || || |__"

"How the actual fuck did you say that out loud," Dib received a prompt smack on the back of his head.

"It ain't much but it's honest work."
"Can we come in?"
"Welcome to Area 51. You're a bit early, but go ahead." You opened the door to a confused Membrane and an ecstatic Dib.

"Wewcome to my humbaw abowde."
"We live in a society," replied Dib, "Our battle will be legendary."

Membrane was so fucking confused. He was starting to fear for his life.

"You dare challenge me?" I chuckled, "oh yeah, it's all coming together."
Professor Membrane watched on, the sheer absurdity of their conversation was enough to make this man of science question his true intelligence.

You and Dib kept "talking", if you can even call it that, played some Minecraft, and shared memes until Membrane finally broke.

"Son. Please. I can't take this anymore. I understand nothing. Help your father," the desperation and exhaustion were extremely evident in his voice.

"Aight ima head out," Dib said as he dragged his dad back home.

-time skip-

"Son"
"Yeah dad?
"...what does DILF mean?"

Dib's eyes widened in surprise. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Y/N called me a DILF," he said matter-of-factly.

"... I'm not telling you."
"sON AS YOUR FATHER I DEMAND YOU TELL ME-"

"She wants to fuck you I'm going to bed goodnight I'm a growing boy I need my rest for skool..." Dib said as he went up the stairs to his room. He texted Y/N a meme explaining what happened.

"What the fuck did you just bring upon this cursed land?"

620 words
Lmfao I'm sorry I couldn't take this seriously hsjshslsksjsl

Thanks for Kiwikween for requesting this I'm so sorry jslsksgizslH