Professor Membrane x Reader

Mem x Clumsy! Witch! Reader

AN myartismeh here you go broski finally did it lol
did the modern version of witchcraft bc flowers are better than latin
-sp00ky vagin0sis sinning with your naked bod is evil and atrocious lmao
y'all it spook month
boo

Y/N POV

"fuckfuckfUCKFUCK-" I accidentally knocked over my jar of coriander into my pot. There goes that batch. I sighed as I headed to my sink to dump it out. I looked at the iron pot as I-

"Ow!"- walked straight into the low doorframe of the kitchen. I almost dropped the pot on my foot, but I caught myself before it happened. My foot wasn't safe, however.

The pot's contents spilled on the top of my foot, burning it. Being barefoot usually helps me get a better sense of my surroundings, and while it isn't necessary, it often yields better results...it was also way more comfortable. But in this case, it was the exact opposite. I sharply inhaled as the hot water spilled onto my cold foot, barely holding in a yelp.

"That's...not very nice-" I hissed as I limped the rest of the way to the kitchen. I dumped the remaining water into the sink and went to my bathroom to get some bandages for my foot. After doing that and bumping into several more things along the way, I decided to clean up the house so I wouldn't cause so much havoc.

To be honest, it wasn't that interesting. I cleaned some stuff, bumped into some other stuff, put away my clothes, caught my hair on a hanger, the usual. I'm just surprised I didn't trip on more things.

Finally setting down, I laid down on the couch. My boa constrictor curled up around my torso before taking up residence at my chest. It nuzzled its head affectionately into my neck and slithered back to the ground as if to say it wanted me to follow it.

"Okay there, (pet/name), where are we headed?" I jokingly said, getting back up. The snake perked its head up and pointed it in the direction of the forest I got most of my ingredients from. "Forest it is!"

I followed (p/n) through the trees and foliage. The spiritual energy felt strong here. The things grown here were perfect for using in my potions. I personally had planted several different types of trees, plants, and herbs. I continued following my familiar as they led me through the thick brush, weaving around and under stray branches and roots. Eventually (p/n) led me into the heart of a field of flowers.

I gasped. "Awww, (p/n)! How'd you know what I was planning to do tonight?" I pet its head as it slithered up and coiled around my leg. Going over to look for some roses, I started gathering ingredients for remaking the potion. I didn't need all these flowers, but they looked pretty. Not to mention they could make great flower crowns and Victorian bouquets.

After what only seemed like ten minutes, the sky began to tint itself with rosy and peach hues. "Come on, (p/n), we gotta head back before dark." It nodded and started slithering away, guiding me back to the house.

By the time we got back, the sun was just setting. I'd made a few flower crowns on the way back. Two symbolizing friendship, two symbolizing possible love, and two symbolizing passion. My plan was for him to pick one to give me some sort of sign, but chances are he wouldn't understand. That doesn't matter right now. Focus (Y/N)!

I set the crowns down on a table and started on the potion. (Comment if you can figure out what it is >;) lol) I put some fresh rose hips into the cast iron pot from before. Giving the water time to re-boil, I hung up my green fairy lights and made some more flower crowns for me and (p/n). Who says snakes can't rock flower crowns?

I heard the piercing whistle from my teapot and quickly went into the kitchen. Carefully, I poured the boiling water into the large pot over the rose hips. I quickly added a 1/2 teaspoon of catnip and a 1/8 teaspoon of crushed rosemary. I set the lid on top the "cauldron" and waited for it to steep properly while I played with (p/n).

A sudden knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. (p/n) coiled itself up around my neck like a scarf as I stumbled to the door.

"H-hey! What can I do for you?" I looked up at the man who was on my doorstep and oh my god it was him. Membrane was here.

"I was just wondering what that green glow was, do you mind if I investigate?" God, his deep baritone voice was so sexy. It sent shivers down my spine.

"Uh, w-well it's just my my fairy lights! Heheh," I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly, "But if you still wanna come inside, you can!" He was still for a while, before nodding. He ducked under the doorway and sat down on the couch, curiously looking at my deck of tarot cards. Watch, he's going to ask about how they work just wait.

"What are these...cards? Why do they have pictures on them?" I laughed and said that I'd tell him later after I finished making something. I strained the tea and poured two cups. I put a spoonful of honey in each cup before heading back to him.

"Before I do your reading, you want a flower crown?" I smiled. He went pink and muttered some form of "yes". He took one that was made of red carnations, gardenias, purple lilacs, and tulips. My heart jumped into my throat. That was the one for love. My eyes widened, but I quickly composed myself, sipping my tea. I took the other and put it on my head.

(p/n) slithered onto his lap, making this du- I mean weird face at me. I glared back and stuck my tongue out. Membrane looked confused until he noticed the snake around his waist. Letting out a quiet "oh" he asked me once more about the deck.

I shuffled the cards while explaining the gist of what they were. "Each card has a meaning. It can change on the way it is drawn or based on the cards it's with. Now, would you pick one of these four piles?" He did as asked and continued to watch as I kept going. "The reading I'm setting up is a three card reading. It usually is used to tell the past, present, and future of a person based on a question." I divided up the remaining stack into 3 piles and told him to pick again. This time, I spread the cards out on the table and told him to pick three. After he did so, I put the rest away in the box they came in.

"The first card you drew represents your past." Turning the card over, my eyes widened and I slightly frowned.

"What does that mean?" He asked.

"It's the Three of Swords. It means that you recently went through a state of intense sorrow. Did something happen?" He didn't answer, but I decided not to press. "There is a good side though," I started. He perked up. "The rain in the background symbolizes coming growth. You'll come out of this better than you started." I held his hand as I smiled sweetly.

"Let's see the next card." I said. I turned it over. I grinned, "This card represents the present. It's The Magician. I thought you would get this card!" I giggled. "The Magician is the master of the tools of tarot. He symbolizes awareness. Walking your talk, making your own path, I'm sure you know." I saw a slight blush from under the high collar. It went great with the flower crown.

"Last but not least, the future. This is usually a glimpse as to what you can expect soon. You may not want to risk a change. Finding that you'll get what you need, but not what you want. You have to decide if your desires can pull you out of your comfort zone." I took a moment to look at him. I could see the gears turning behind those goggles. "I bet you'll do great, don't worry."

I couldn't be sure, but I think he smiled at me. Both cups were empty, so I went to take them to the kitchen. I set my phone on the table as I left.

When I came back, he was gone. "Oh, I said quietly. I wasn't surprised. This usually happens whenever I like someone. (p/n) curled over to my phone.

I got a message.

🧪🤭Membrane🤭🧪

i love you too (y/n)
date next tuesday at 9?
read

I could hardly believe my eyes. I furiously typed a yes as I smiled ear to ear. My snake curled around my forearm as I squealed. Maybe there was hope for me after all!

1522 words

Starting the spook month off right!! I'm surprised that this didn't take this long lmao hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long!!
we're gonna present that song choreography thing tomorrow and im-??? Not very cash money ldhskssl

Btw, totally didn't do a bunch of research for this no I totally didn't jdlskskals