Professor Membrane x Reader

Procrastination uwu

Because I'm a lazy bitch and I'm still working on those requests, (not even at 200 on either oof) I wanna put something out so y'all can hear my headcanons and read my life rant at the end if you want. Don't really need to read this but y'all can uwu

-he calls you all sorts of pet names
-most of them are in Spanish. Lucky you
-if you don't know Spanish you better learn soon or he'll make you
-he'll occasionally call you some of the sensible English ones like "honey" "cutie" etc.
-but most of the time you'll get called cariño, mi amor, or one of the several words for pretty/beautiful

-he is extremely touch starved
-totally not projecting what
-when you touch him in any way shape or form, he'll flinch away at first but will press himself into your hand or whatever you're touching him with
-he really likes to hold hands even thought he can't truly feel your skin anymore but let a man dream •=(
-other than that, he likes Eskimo kisses, butterfly kisses, little-contact kisses in general,
-also hugs. he's such a hugger
-be prepared to be his giant teddy bear they sell in stores for Valentine's Day
-it took a while for him to get used to lots of contact, but eventually you two cuddled all the time.
-he's the little spoon. end of discussion

-he also likes to play with your hair
-it doesn't matter how short or long it is, dreads or shaved, he'll definitely have his hands on your head, at least massaging your neck and/or shoulders

-did I mention he gives great massages?
-because he does.
-like it's moan worthy even if you're ace/aro/ace aro
-like food wars is with food but massages
-like
-like damn

-he gets so caught up in his work that he kinda,,,,forgets to take care of himself
-his kids wouldn't disturb him because 1, don't do that 2, you're disgusting you're revolting I'm gonna kill you gimme $200 3, that's not,,,,very,,,good??
-plus his robots take care of them
-Dib is off trying to kiss I mean punch zim and Gaz is kinda worried but Dib isn't so should she be???
-you are the only one that can pull him away from his work

-you cook
-he sucks at cooking
-even if Dib doesn't like you (Gaz won't like you at the beginning anyway so) his kids will keep you around because Foodio's meals always taste kinda,,,, weird.
-they want real food
-human food
-regular human food
-and there is no way Membrane is allowed to make anything but super toast
-even the super toast is iffy
-they like it when you don't immediately make Mexican and actually ask for their opinion
-like maybe they want pizza???
-chicken and rice!?!?
-mayBE THEYRE SICK OF GOD DANG QUESADILLAS FROM TACO BELLLLL

-anyways they like your cooking even if it's shit.
-it can't be worse than their dads at least

-he does do the cleaning though
-like uGh can this man get any more swoon-worthy???
-I'd say marry me but I can't drive dhsjakaha
-like, as soon as you found out you knew this man was NOT getting out of your life.
-he won't admit anything about it, but we're pretty sure he likes doing it

-in fact, one reason his office is inexplicably messy is he likes to organizer when he wants to destress (btw want y'all to know that suggestion was inexplicably gay)
-that and he always falls asleep at his desk before he can actually start cleaning

-he doesn't swear. a fine, respectable gentleman.
-YOU on the other hand
-it doesn't matter if you don't swear much or if you're shy/slow to anger/ not loud in general, yOU ARE GETTING MAD FOR HIMMMMM
-if someone smack his ass their ass is getting clapped
-like you finna go to jail bb
-if you are a normal person though, it think of yourself as less, you usually just grumble under your breath and hide yourself in his coat

-if you do anything whatsoever, he's happy
-he's a happy boye
-a very happy boye

Really sorry about the requests b
Was thinking of faepauff and biteacopy as I wrote this idfk why but I think y'all wanna read this