The Final Project

Chapter 48

Liam

My bad thoughts are contained in a small, windowed house. Adorned in undying flowers, and too-hot outdoor lights, it lures you in, but anyone that looks close enough will see the cracked glass lying on the floor. Anyone that looks close enough will see the angry red of the house brick. Anyone that looks close enough will see the image of a crying boy through the window pane.

I've done everything to forget Ava. I've done everything to not see the image of the crying boy, and now she walks back into my life, and makes me see him. She makes me see myself in him.

"Promise me if you find another girl, you won't hesitate to be with her." My mind flashes back to the wretched day I made a promise that I didn't want to keep. A promise that I knew would break both mine and Ava's hearts.

And now I've told her I kept it.

The silence we're in isn't awkward; it's painful. My thoughts are clouded in a misery of emotion; fear, anger, regret, sadness. A part of me wishes I could take it all back. A part of me wishes none of this ever happened.

"I'm happy for you." Ava's timid voice fills the room, and I have to do a double-take. Happy for me? That's the last thing I was expecting her to say.

"You mean that?"

"Yeah, if you're happy, Liam, I'm happy." Fuck. I feel like a horrible person.

"Are you okay?" I ask with caution.

"Now you're the one wasting your questions," she laughs. " I'm fine." But, for some reason, I don't believe her. Maybe it's the tone of her voice or her lack of eye contact, but I don't believe her.

"Look at me," I instruct. She turns slowly toward me, but she seems in a far-off place. "What're you thinking about?"

"I don't know," she sighs. "I guess if I had one more question, I would ask you if I was ever worth waiting for. Just if you ever thought about it, I guess."

And that's when I wish I could go back to forgetting, and being numb. And that's when I wish I could leave the labyrinth of my mind.