Silvanna Snape {Marauders}

Chapter One-Hundred-and-Forty-Five

The safety and shelter Hogwarts offered was quickly disappearing, with the Christmas holidays looming. But sharing a classroom, dining hall, dinner table, and dormitory with the Gryffindors was becoming exhausting. The months of the first term dragged at the best of times, but every waking minute felt like torture when she couldn't spend it with the people she loved most.

Worse still was the fact that she wasn't optimistic about how the war was going, especially after Regulus's comment about winning on Halloween. Chances were that it wasn't going to be over by the time they graduated, and her last months in her sacred sanctuary would be spent in solitude. And then there was the concern about what would happen after Hogwarts; she'd be plunged into a full-time life with the Princes, with no hope of leaving or even taking a break until the war was over.

But that was a problem for the future. She had no doubt Dumbledore was sheltering her from the full truth, that when that time came she'd be far better informed. She just had to hang in until then.

Then there was the incident with Marlene. The whole thing had played on her mind relentlessly, and her only explanation for the curiosity that followed was that her imagination was getting the better of her. All her free moments wandered to thoughts of if Marlene hadn't been drunk, if she'd kissed her back, if they had the freedom to be seen, even if it was just as friends.

They only would be seen as friends because that was all they were. She was being silly, that was all.

It was better how things were, they were both in far less danger that way. Or at least that's what she told herself. It didn't stop her from slipping a note into her friend's trunk as they packed to go home.

Make sure to write - Silvanna x

Merlin knew she'd need it.

*****

The Christmas holidays were so much worse than the summer ones. Not only could she not escape for a walk in the grounds due to the weather (there was the occasionally snow or frost, but Evelyn refused to let her out), but tutoring with Madame Coolbridge was taking up more hours too. They weren't even really studying interesting things anymore, nor anything subtle. This was just straight dark magic, spells she'd never use not only because of her morals, but also because they had no practical use. She had zero intentions of engaging in a duel to the death. It made her wonder if they were expecting her to become a Death Eater, or at least support them. And were they prioritising it over married life?

But they weren't worse because of that, that all would have been bearable if she'd felt like she was being useful. But for the first week there were no balls to attend, and not many dinners. They attend three at the Black family home, Grimmauld Place (which really was grim, even if it was polished), and these weren't even proper dinners. Her Aunts and Uncles didn't go, just herself, her brother, and grandparents, and the dress code had dropped from formal to cocktail, as if they were just eating as a family at Whitechapel.

This of course resulted in Evelyn panic-ordering a stream of new dresses for her. She really didn't mind that part. It was obvious now it had been pointed out to her that they were trying to match her up with Regulus. In fact, it seemed they'd already succeeded, as she wasn't going to resist: at this point anything was better than matchmaking.

But what got her through it all was her correspondence with Marlene. She was having a brilliant holidays, and now that they could all apparate they were all meeting up at each other's houses, and taking visits to the Three Broomsticks. We'd like to go to the Leaky Cauldron, as it's easier for everyone else to get there, but most of our parents are putting their feet down after what happened with us over the summer. You should join us one day, it'd be loads of fun.

Yeah right, because watching over her shoulder for any sign of a camera or some pureblood snitch was 'loads of fun'. She didn't say this to Marlene though, just politely declined, as she always did.

But they always wrote each other letters, long and short, detailing holiday work and revision, how insufferable their families were.

Daniel, the little Ravenclaw, is such a bloody knowledge snob. He just goes around saying 'fun facts' like he's the smartest little arse in the world, Marlene wrote.

It can't be that bad, Silvanna replied, look at what I've got for a brother! I'm sure they've already tried to find him someone to marry but that's an impossible task, so he just swans around with his mates - oh Merlin they are always muttering about stuff! Drives me crazy.

I read up on different patronuses, Marlene tactfully changed the subject during her next letter, and yours was really interesting - much better than mine. I'll send you the book if you like? It's got all-sorts in it, Professor Arkwright recommended it but I've hardly read it.

And so the letters continued. It was a relief to have a bit of Marlene back, even if it was only on rolls of parchment.

*****

Christmas was extravagant to say the least. A few days beforehand, she woke to find Christmas trees in nearly every room - and the ballroom had eight! They were all decorated in silver and gold, which made the entire place look shiny and glowing, particularly when the sun spread its rays and streamed in through the glass.

Then - even though it would only be their family at Christmas dinner - Evelyn insisted on new robes for everyone, so they had their measurements sent off and their outfits arrived on Christmas Eve. Still not brave enough to try her with the lovely, festive colours of green or red, Silvanna found herself in black velvet on Christmas Day. Very...gothic.

Presents weren't much of a thing in the house of Prince, where everything was bought as and when it was needed. As such she mainly received some books she wasn't going to read and some soaps and things. It was expected, and - although she hated to do it - she'd bought much of the same things for everyone else.

What wasn't expected was the box of chocolates from Marlene, with a lovely note about friendship and hard times - it was stashed in her trunk with all the rest. She quickly sent Betsy off with two notes: a thank you letter to Marlene and to Honeydukes to try and arrange something for her in return.

She didn't get any letters from any other Gryffindors, and thought it would be foolish to send them herself.

Somebody she did get a letter from was Regulus Black. She only skimmed it, because as soon as she saw the name at the bottom she rolled her eyes. Happy Christmas...hope to continue our acquaintance in the coming year...see you at the Black family New Year's Ball-

Her mind jolted at that. Now here was a ball, hosted by arguably the most powerful family in the Wizarding World and known muggle-haters - there were definitely going to be Death Eaters there.

And if there weren't - well, the absences spoke for themselves.