𝑇𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑒

𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦-𝑓𝑖𝑣𝑒 | 𝐼 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ

AURORA

~I love you by Billie Eilish

I was just sitting in the kitchen on one of the stools while my mother was on the phone with Kirian's mother. When looks could kill, I would be died. So I just keep glancing at my thigh.

My leg goes up and down. The ambulance took Kirian away. Then the Coach came and informed our parents. I didn't dare to look my mother in the face just once. She is disappointed. I know that because I know her.

She asked me in the car what happened, but I was quiet. I didn't say a word. "I'm really sorry, Bella. I hope he'll be okay." I heard the phone being put down on the counter, and my mother sighed in exasperation.

"Kirian is in the hospital. He's got a broken nose, a split lip and a tooth that was knocked out, he probably has a concussion too. So, Aurora, will you explain to me what happened?"

I swallowed, the words stuck in my throat. I want to tell her what happened, but what will occur then? What's the point? Ares gets in trouble, gets suspended, which he probably deserves, but I won't say anything. He helped me, I owe him that, I owe him more than not to say anything. A thank you would be great.

"Aurora, damn it, what happened?" I looked up at her. She looks angry. "He did... Kirian.. it happened so fast."

"That's enough. You tell me immediately what happened. Kirian is in the goddamn Hospital, do you understand that? He got beaten up."

"Fuck! He touched me, mom. He touches me even though I told him to stop. I told him to stop." I stood up so the stool I was sitting on which fell backwards onto the floor.

Tears came to my eyes. "I said it. But he didn't stop, I hit him. I had no control."

My mother came over to me and put her hand on my upper arm where I took a step backward. "I know you're strong, honey, but you can't hit a person like that. Who was it."

"Me." "You're lying, you didn't do it. Who are you covering Aurora?" "Mom, Who gives a fuck. Kirian deserves it! He touched me! Is that just being taken on the shoulder just because he's injured? I'm hurt too. I was scared, I still am."

"Aurora, don't talk to me like that!"

"Dad would understand me! He would hug me and you! You only care about some shitty bastard who molested your daughter. How can you be like that, You want to call yourself a mother?" I turned and ran to my room.

My mother called my name after me, but I slammed the door and locked it. I slid down the door and cried.

Why can't she just hug me? Why does she have to pick on it like that who beat up Kirian? It doesn't fucking matter who it was. Ares helped me, and the fact that I hate him doesn't make it any better.

I made a fool of him, yes he screwed up he shouldn't have hit Kirian like that, but he deserved it and Ares deserved to be suspended because of it. But I won't say anything. Had I listened to Zeth Mason and even Ares it wouldn't have happened, none of that would have happened.

---

*
I've been walking the dark streets for a while. I sneaked out my window to get some peace. I was just on my way to the cemetery where my father is.

The streets are almost empty, just me and the music pounding in my ears. My hands were in the pocket of the jacket I got from my father. The hood over my head.

Sometimes a person needs to be alone to understand that it feels good. I'm not walking around trying to make something depressed out of myself. I don't do it because my life is over, I do it because I want to be alone, because I like it.

It's not normal what happened to me today, but by locking myself up, I can't change it. Kirian remains a person I'll never get a step closer to, he is the next person who let me down.

Sometimes I realize how long this list is getting. Ashley, Ben and Kirian etc. Why does something like this have to exist? Why does something have to be destroyed when it's so beautiful?

The friendship with Ashley.

My relationship with Ben.

My binding with my mother.

My long-term friendship with Kirian.

Everything's going down the drain, even though it's shouldn't be like it. Should be everyone happy? But how can you do something like that when life just gives you shit.

But the bad thing is that the only person who understand you. The person who had exactly the words I needed at the moment disappeared from one day to the next. The bad thing is that it's my fault.

If I weren't so stupid and if I weren't going to this stupid party, my father didn't have to pick me up at this Storm. He drove extra slowly, and yet we are felt in the water. Nevertheless, he lost control and drove into it.

The last word I said to him was how stubborn he was and what a bad father he is because I wanted to stay at the party. I was stupid. I was young and stupid. And my father had to be punished for it.

"Hello dad." I looked down at my father's tombstone.

Father, husband and friend.

As always, remorse comes to me when I read those three words over and over again. They're like a poison to me, I can only quench by disappearing. But the worst thing is that I don't want to leave. I'd rather want that pain than leave.

"I screwed up. I didn't learn from any of my mistakes." I knelt down, sparing my eyes from stinging slightly from the tears welling up and take my headphones out.

"I treated mom badly, just like I did with you. I didn't want it at all, but she was so... so incomprehensible to me." I cried and dried my eyes with my sleeves.

"I didn't mean to call her a bad mother. It just came out of me. I had anger inside me and.. Unfortunately, you can't answer me. I would need some advice."

"But I can answer." I turned around in shock and saw my mother standing behind me. "I knew you were here."

I got up from the ground I fell on when I was startled and looked at my mother. "Mom..." "I know honey. I'm sorry too." I hugged her tightly as she hugged me and stroked my head up and down.

"I miss him so much." I cried into her shoulder. "I know. We all do."

And in the end, there is the person who let you down. The person you need the most.