Just Rosalie

Not Meant To Be

Pennelope and Rosalie sat on the couch eating Chinese. They'd been binge watching Desperate Housemaids for the entire weekend, and Rosalie felt as though her eyes would fall out. She looked at Pennelope and knew that it was time to tell her that she wanted to stay elsewhere. Her welcome was extended for far too long, and Pennelope's hospitality was way too personal.
"Pen, I'm planning to meet my mum in Hawaii by the end of next week. So, I'll be out of your hair soon."
Rosalie had declined her mother's offer to showcase her pieces at the Mavana, but that didn't mean she couldn't attend. A lot had been on her mind, as of recent. And she was taking a break from work. She'd still be her creative self, but just as a hobby, for the time being. It wasn't as though people relied on her to attend events and host charities-perks of being a secret artist. Rosalie knew that if she'd reveal herself that her publicity would triple, but she just couldn't bring herself to receive all the unwanted attention. As much as it would boost her career, it would tamper with her lifestyle, and she loved her life just the way it was. But did she really? She'd been avoiding all human contact except Pennelope's for the past week and a half. She still hadn't finalized her breakup with Lee, and was ignoring her feelings for Elizabeth. She'd even found herself having mixed feelings for Zoe, as strange as it was. Zoe, of all people, was off limits. She was not only married, but also pregnant. Rosalie couldn't have feelings for a married, pregnant woman, even if that woman once occupied the entirety of her heart.
She didn't realize that she'd fallen asleep with an oyster pail of spring rolls still in her hands, which by the time she'd woken up, had scattered onto her lap and stomach. Pennelope chuckled as she cleaned Rosalie up while she was still asleep. As much as Pennelope had tried to sustain her feelings for Rosalie, she'd hate it if she allowed the window of opportunity to close. But did Rosalie feel the same way for her? Rosalie hadn't rejected her subtle advances. She'd just make an excuse to do something else. Maybe, that was all part of the healing process and she did have feelings for Pennelope. But as much as Pennelope hoped Rosalie would reciprocate everything that she felt, deep down in her messed up heart, she knew that it was unlikely.
When Rosalie finally woke up, Pennelope had already left for work. She took a shower, and changed into comfortable clothing-shorts, t-shirt and timberland boots. Grabbing her purse and taking out her keys, she headed out of the apartment building and towards her car in the parking lot.
She drove to the restaurant knowing that it was time for her and Lee to have a serious talk. She'd avoided it long enough, and couldn't go another day feeling like a coward. When she saw Pennelope behind the bar mixing a drink, she gulped. As much as she loved her best friend, Pennelope's ulterior motives gave Rosalie an unsettling feeling for the longest while. She found it gratifying when someone was interested in her, but didn't enjoy it as much as having a real friendship that didn't involve anything that wasn't platonic.
Rosalie often wondered if she was just a body without a personality to everyone. Was she a face without a purpose? Was everyone attracted to her exterior and put up with her personality? She felt like an object-a piece of meat. Everyone wanted her for what she looked like, not for who she was. Rosalie was much more than a face and body. She was a woman with talented hands for creativeness, a heart filled with beauty, a personality extraordinary than any other, emotions that none had ever seen and a soul made for someone who'd really understand her. As much as Rosalie hated to say it, her heart probably craved for someone who was similar to her mother. A woman who'd understand her decisions, whose ideas were similar to her own, someone who accepted her flaws with no judgment and loved her unconditionally. Kaitlyn Watson was a great mother, and an even better role model. She'd always pick up the pieces when need be, and was as close to Rosalie's heart as her brother was.
When Lee spotted Rosalie approaching the bar, she rushed out of the kitchen and slipped her way behind the counter, making Pennelope have to step aside.
"Sweetheart..."
"We should talk."
Rosalie said as she moved toward the back of the restaurant, and Lee followed behind. Pennelope looked at the two with uninterested eyes, though she was more than interested for their breakup to be set in stone.
Rosalie placed her hand in Lee's with a tight smile. At first, Lee perceived it to be a gesture of intimacy, but then she felt an object-the ring. She inhaled deeply as Rosalie slipped her hand away, the ring being left in Lee's hand. She closed her hand around it-forming a fist.
"Are you sure? We can..."
"I'm sure."
Rosalie stuffed her hands into her back pockets and stepped backward. She'd thought long and hard about the decision, which made her certain that it was the right thing to do, not only for herself, but for Lee as well.
"Don't you love me anymore?"
Lee's eyes welled with tears. She knew that breaking up was probably their relationship's outcome, but for it to be finalized tore her in ways that she couldn't describe.
"I'm sorry, Lee. But as I said, love isn't always enough. It's time to move on."
Rosalie could feel her own heart hurting. As much as she'd like to deny her feelings, Lee still occupied a gigantic piece of her heart. But gradually, that piece was becoming smaller and smaller, which made Rosalie know that she needed time to heal. She couldn't step into another relationship just yet-for a while. As much as she'd love to feel Elizabeth's lips against hers again, she knew that it wasn't possible for a relationship to ever work for them. Not when there were so many things complicating everything.
"But I love you. Sweetheart, please. We can make this work. We'll take things slow. We'll rebuild our relationship. Just don't give up on us, please."
Rosalie wanted to say yes. She wanted everything to go back to what it once was-when she couldn't see her life without Lee-when she was madly in love with her. She missed the comfort of having someone to love, to hold and to be vulnerable with. She'd found it difficult to trust anyone, but she trusted Lee. Lee knew things that no one else knew. She knew Rosalie's greatest fears and uncensored thoughts, which made it extremely difficult to let go. How could she trust again? How could she love again? She couldn't bare another heartbreak, yet her final moments with Lee felt like freedom more than pain. As much as it hurt, she was relieved that it was finally over. She always knew that happiness had an expiration date-the other shoe dropped, where she and Lee could never be. And as her heart ached for the four years they'd been together, she had enough strength to say the next few words.
"We're not meant to be."
Those words were utter torture for Lee. She never thought that she'd hear those words slipping through Rosalie's lips. And as she stood there, her body trembling with fear, she wanted to wrap her arms around Rosalie's body and beg her to reconsider. She'd done some wrongs, but never intended to hurt Rosalie in doing so. Lee had hurt her family on more occasions than she could count, and it always seemed that they could strive without her. If Rosalie didn't need her too, what was Lee's purpose? What was she living for? Who was she to love? Wasn't love the ultimate prize of life? And Lee lost it, so should she continue to live? She ruined her relationship with her son, with her ex-wife and the love of her life. What's the point anymore?
As Rosalie walked away, Lee felt her body becoming lifeless. She sat down on the step of the staircase and covered her face with the palms of her hands. She'd do anything to have Rosalie back inside of her arms-anything at all.