ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʟɪᴇs

9

Elsie

My tears are falling. The memories play in my head and I can't stop them. I breathe as hard as I can, a hand on my chest. I look around and I watch the others sleep. I exhale a deep breath and my hand finds its way to my throat. I rub it, making sure it's my hand and not his. I close my eyes, tearing my mind away from that place. It felt so real. As if I was living it, again.

I wipe my forehead as I notice a drop of sweat is sliding down my back. I try to catch my breath which seems impossible. Mila is next to me while the others are sleeping on the couches. I cover my mouth to keep them from hearing my sobs. I stumble on the ground, my foot aching in pain. I hiss and take it in my hand. Blood. It's covered in blood.

''What the-''

''Elsie?'' Quinn asks, her eyes barely open. I keep quiet, hoping she goes back to sleep. My hopes are not met. She glances at Addy and Mila before rushing to me. She kneels next to me, her hands gripping mine.

''What's wrong?'' she stares down at my foot. I look around, trying to catch my breath but it's not working.

''El, do you want me to wake Mila up?'' I shake my head and I try to jerk out of her hold. She easily lets go of me and she helps me stand up. I hate the way she's looking at me. She pities me. That's why I never told them anything. This is why I sleep alone. On Fire's night, it's the night I sleep like a  baby. Why didn't it work?

''Let's get you cleaned up'' she urges me to the bathroom. I follow her, still trying to breathe. That's when I realize, my pajamas are soaked with sweat. I am burning up.

''Do you want to tell me?'' No. If I tell her, she'll tell Addy and Addy will tell Mila. I am already too deep in. She saw me. She'll ask questions and I won't be able to avoid them this time.

''Just, breathe in and out, okay?'' I nod, closing my eyes. The images pop in my head and I shut my mouth, biting the inside of my cheeks.

''Stop'' I say, as low as a whisper. I can barely hear myself talking. I see him again. A sob escapes my lips and Quinn brushes my hair out of my face.

''It's me, Elsie, look-'' she takes my hand and cups her cheek. I blink the tears away and when her face comes into view, I giggle. She smiles with me and with the pad of her thumb, she wipes my tears away.

''I'll start you a bath, is that okay?'' As I tighten my eyes, my chest heaves.

''Yes, I can do it'' I push her hand away. Quinn frowns and when her hand lays on my shoulder, I flinch.

''I am fine, you can go'' I can see the confused look on her face.

''Elsie I-''

''I said I am fine, Quinn!'' I snap, my voice sounds like someone else's. Rather than being angry, I sound scared. Can she tell the difference? I don't believe so. If she did, she wouldn't have walked away and slammed the door on her way out.

Gripping the counter, I take time to look at myself in the mirror. I can still feel his hands on me. And it makes me choke. With a muffled cry, I puke all the alcohol from Fire's night. We shouldn't have gone to that party. I don't know who sent the four horsemen the invitation but it wasn't from us.

They were there and I think they figured out what people have been trying to accomplish for the past five years. The way they looked at us, even with our clothes changed, they knew it was us. Will kept watching me the entire night. Is it wrong I loved it when he took ahold of me? I wonder where things would have gone if Kai hadn't shown up.

I splash the cold water on my face, smiling at myself through the mirror. I am fine. I am okay.
The bath is almost filled completely and I notice my phone on the sink. I forgot I put it there last night. We were smart enough to take our makeup off and shower. After every Fire's night, we all sleep together. We don't just do it on Fire's night but it's a tradition.