ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʟɪᴇs

18

Elsie

Normalcy, something I am wholly familiar with. This thing with Will isn't normal. I don't like it. Or maybe I am just lying to myself, as always.

I don't know why I didn't stop him when he touched me. Maybe I wanted him to touch me. It's all a bit blurry. As if my high took over my body. I had my eyes closed the whole time, I couldn't open them.

They're messing with us, this is why they came here. But, why do I get the feeling Will wants me. Like, really wants me. Not just for my body or to use me, as most boys do.  When we're together, when his fingers brush against mine, I feel a sort of high. And that can't even compare to when his finger was inside me.

Quinn saw us, well, she saw me. I am embarrassed. I don't regret what just happened. But I do wish he hadn't done this in front of my friends, in front of kids.

I know nobody else notice, Will was clever enough to not embarrass me more than this.

His hand is gripping mine and I can't force myself to look away from Quinn. She's beautiful when she skates. Her competition is in three days, she trained a lot for it. I am sure she will win.

I am still holding Kai's hand. Not because I want to but mostly because I feel weird about letting it go. This is a weird feeling. Both of them are holding onto me and the feeling is making me burst. My stomach is filled with tight knots and I can't untie them.

Am I having a panic attack? No.

No. No. No.

It hasn't happened in a while why is it happening now?

I refuse. Stop!

Fuck, fuck, f-

''Darling'' Kai whispers. With his free hand, he cups my cheek and makes me turn towards him.

I gulp as his eyes look down at my lips. He wants to kiss me. But not because he wants me. Because I am a woman and I am pretty. This isn't about me. This is about his needs and I won't let him have me. Although I am still frozen in place.

''Could you loosen your grip?'' I look down at our fingers intertwined. My nails are digging in his palm.

What the heck?

I immediately let go and jerk out of his hold. Without realizing it, I have let go of Will's hand and I am standing, my feet glued to the ground. I can't breathe.

''Elsie?''

I shake my head, tears pricking my eyes. My words are stuck in my throat, just like that night. My heart is about to explode from beating this fast.

''Hey, hey look at me'' Mila grabs my hands and I feel a pair of hands wrap around my waist. A sob escapes my lips.

''Will, get off!'' Mila almost yells and I suddenly feel like we are surrounded. A crowd of people has come to watch us but that's not true. No one is watching us, well I think.

''What's happening? What's wrong?'' Addy asks and Mila shrugs her off. I guess Damon and her are back from wherever they were.