ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʟɪᴇs

26

Elsie

It's easy to pretend that everything is okay. I wear my pain every day and no one even notices. It's not like I want them to notice. It's just easy to put on a smile and walk out of a door, pretending everything is fine. No one ever truly cares, and I live by that.

''I am sorry'' Quinn sobs into my shoulder. I peek at the girls before burying her head in my chest again. They don't know about her family. The reason I do is that I guess I am trustable. I wouldn't want anyone to go through their feelings alone. That is sad and painful, no one deserves that.

''It's okay'' Mila takes Quinn's hand and squeezes it. Addy does the same with her other hand. Everyone and by this, I mean everyone thinks Addy and Quinn are closer. They are, and they get along better. But, that is not true. I have something with all of them, even though they are mad at me right now, it doesn't matter. I still know everything about them and they know nothing about me.

Quinn relaxes in my arms, that is good. I am not going to lie, I expected something like that to happen. It's not her fault her mother and sister are this ridiculous, it isn't fair. I saw it coming, Quinn saw it coming and I bet Alex saw it too. She didn't want to believe it, I guess I wouldn't either if I were in her shoes. I guess I'll never know.

''We need this to be over'' Mila glares at me. I rub Quinn's hair and kiss the top of her head.

''What do you mean?'' she quietly asks, her head still tilted on my shoulders.

''I think we need to tell each other... things'' Mila says, her eyes focused on me.

Fuck no.

Hell Nah.

''Things? Like what?'' Addy is one to keep secrets. She isn't good at hiding them. She keeps them but it is effortlessly simple to figure them out.

''So this doesn't happen'' she gestures to us and I hug Quinn tighter. Whatever Mila is up to, I can see it behind her eyes. It isn't wrong. It just isn't right either. There's a reason why we have secrets. Friendship shouldn't rely on that.

''I am sorry Quinn, I don't even know what's going on and you tell us when you're ready to tell us. But these lies? These secrets? It has to end. The four horsemen are up there plotting against us. If we don't know these things and they do, it could end up really badly'' she finishes, out of breath.

I study her. She's right, Mila is always right. It doesn't mean that I am going to share my past with them. If the four horsemen are to find out, then so be it. I couldn't give the slightest fuck.

''Okay,'' Quinn whispers and pulls away from me. Something in me was torn. It's like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Maybe it's because I feel like I have to tell them. Maybe I should. It just doesn't involve them. I have to know that I can get through this by myself and no one else. I have before, right? Why couldn't I do it again?

''I'll go first'' Mila really is good for turning things around. I know exactly how this is going to go.

And I do not

want

to be

a part