ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʟɪᴇs

22

Elsie

Abuse can feel like love.

These words keep resonating in my head.

Starving people will eat anything.

I hate Damon. Why did he have to say that? What the fuck does he want with me? What does Will want from me? I hate this. I am better than this.

Lolita can go to hell. It is not true. Abuse does not feel like love. It isn't true, right? Am I going insane? No. Damon wanted to get through my head and he did. If anything all of this has been planned from the beginning. They're just messing with me. Then, why do I feel like Michael genuinely gives a fuck about me?

''Darling'' Kai breaks the tension that was buried in this car. If Michael could drive faster, this would be perfect.

''Breathe, relax'' I make eye contact with him. He's so taken aback that he doesn't say anything else. He grabs my hand but I do not let him. I cross my legs together and I know my leg is bouncing.

Abuse can feel like love.

''Elsie'' I close my eyes, repeating Damon's words over and over again in my head.

Starving people will eat anything.

''Look at me.'' I am forced to open my eyes as I try to push Will away. I do not want him to let go. But there's something they do not understand. He can't be the bandaid for my wounds. I have to sort this out myself and for that to work, I need to get home.

''Elsie, it's okay'' he says. The pad of his thumb brushes my cheek and it isn't until then that I realize my eyes are drowning. I am not crying, tears are just spilling out and I can't stop them.

''Stop the car.'' Will frowns and I shake my head, pushing at his chest.

''Michael stop the car!'' I yell, my voice sore from singing earlier.

I struggle to unbuckle myself, keeping my whines inside my mouth. Kai helps me and as soon as the car stops, I rush to the door. No one stops me and when the cold wind hits my face, I feel automatically better.

I keep my right hand on Michael's car and the other is pressed against my chest. I don't understand what's happening to me. It's like a shiver in my blood and it doesn't stop. It never stops.

''Elsie!'' I hear them all scream. I tilt my head up and I am paralyzed. A car is heading right in my direction. The lights are mesmerizing. My feet can't seem to walk away. They are glued to the ground.

''Fuck!'' Will yanks me back in the car and Kai closes it just in time before the car drives past us. I recognized that car.

''Elsie, are you okay baby?'' Will puts a strand of my hair behind my ear. He studies me up and down.

''I am fine'' I whisper through gritted teeth. My head feels light like I've just taken a bunch of drugs. I recognized that car.

''Come here'' he wraps his arms around me and I am covered by his perfume and warmth. I never liked apples until I smelt him. How cliché.

I refuse to let his embrace get the best of me but, I need fulfillment. My body moves without my consent. I hug him tighter and bury my head on his chest. I am under a rock but when Will touches me, it doesn't feel this way.

Everything that triggers me goes away, like the fact I recognized that car. I am thinking about it but it doesn't take much in my head. Right now, all I am thinking about is Will.

''Can we go somewhere?'' I ask, pulling away from him. Strangely, he lets me. I hoped he wouldn't. It's like he always does what I do not expect him to. He's unpredictable. We are opposites and I like it, a lot.