♡︎𝙿𝚁𝙸𝙳𝙴 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙲𝙸𝙰𝙻♡︎ | 𝙿𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚖𝚘𝚏𝚏 | 𝚇-𝙼𝙴𝙽

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"..." "Just us.." Peter says, leaning his elbows on the counter behind him. "Others are probably gonna be gone for a few hours..." He adds. You were sitting atop another desk in front of him.

You liked Peter a lot. And you had been everywhere. Every time, everything, all at once. At least once. But, he had caught you real good, in his net of stupid flirting and mischievous tendencies.

You two seemed to become the 'will they won't they?' Of the group. You wanted the will so badly, but knew the won't is what you'd get. You knew Peter liked you. Jean had accidentally let out a bit too much when she was talking to you, about well- him. She was trying to be Indiscreetly a wing-woman, but just accidentally spilled his whole thought chunk dedicated to you.

You were so happy at first, so happy to just even catch his eye. Even once. But you knew you couldn't give him what he wanted. You had thought about just leaving. Never going to this time again. But you couldn't do that, every time you did you came back like a puppy.

Everyone had known you to be genderless your whole life. To always be they/them. Because you were, you didn't feel like a woman. You had been wearing binders for what felt like your whole life. It made you feel miserable to look at yourself in the mirror sometimes.

Your weird mutant additions like your antlers or markings, but even your regular body felt- wrong. Since then you've felt better. You were able to feel better. As good as you can with two sprouting red elk horns.

But Peter didn't really know you originated from a girl. You were scared if anyone knew it'd change. They might start using she or see you differently. You couldn't do what you wanted, what you wanted to do with him, what he wanted to do with you.

"That's a tight squeeze..." you say, tilting your head flirtatiously. You always did this, all bark no bite. Even if you were starving.
"I'm pretty quick, I dunno about you."
He dashes in front of you, between your legs.
You blush and slide his goggles back on his face quickly.

"What If I don't like to hurry?" you smirk, jumping down and walking off again, like you always did. Just leaving Peter in the dust, which might have encouraged him more.

You see Jean in the hall and stop to say hi to her and Jubilee. "Sup!" you stop next to them with a smile. "You just blew it with Peter again, didn't you? I could feel his disappointment from a mile away." Jean groans, "You like him, he likes you, both of you clearly know it, I don't get why there aren't any gears in motion!" Jubilee agrees.

"That disappointment I'm picking up is reeking off you too Y/n." you blow a raspberry. "What are you afraid of?" "oh wait is it the-" "I'm not afraid of nothin! Nothin!" you yell, "NOTHING!" they both make a face. "What's the issue?" Jubilee asks, "Some things holding you back from getting that bag, and we know you want that silver-wrapped bag real bad..."

"You do have some fright on you. You always pale up when something gets too real, not that I eavesdrop." Jean mumbles, "You don't know what you're talking about, didn't you hear what I said, nothing. Scared of No- thing." "it's commitment isn't it? You can't even decide which point in time you want to live in. And now you gotta choose a boy? I think I get it!" Jubilee guesses.

"No what am I? That chick?" You point to Mystique walking past you. You all hum in agreement, and in respect. "Then what is it?" you look at the two girls. "Nothing. Nothing is it." you decide to lie again. "Denial it is." You make a grossed-out face and run off again.

💫

"Are you going to the pool party?" Kurt asks as you lean on the wall behind him with a Rubix cube in your hand. "Uh, maybe." you spit out, but you knew you weren't going to go.

"I'm going, so is Scott." Jean nods to the boy next to her. "I'm in," Peter says, showing up behind you. He lightly leans on your shoulder. You smile. "I'm a busy man I dunno." you shrug, "you literally have all the time in the world," Scott argues. You shrug again, "Put a pin in this argument I gotta go do something." you run off again.

You switch your shirt and look at the binder you wore. You frown. Why couldn't things just be different? You loved being you, whoever that was- it's just that- you wish it wasn't so hard. So hard to be you.

You slip your binder off and grab a sweatshirt, when you hear a knob turn. "Check out what I-" you cover yourself, and scream.
"GET OUT! GET OUT!" your face was pale. Items around the room aged around you, vines and dust piling over. Peter ran out covering his eyes in respect, "SORRY SORRY SORRY-"

You slip on your clothes and fall onto your bed. Everything was ruined. Tears fall down your cheeks, as you cover your mouth with a blanket to hide your sobs. The room around you aged deeply as you curled into a ball of blankets.

You look out the window, to see the newly finished pool house, where said party was being had. You saw familiar faces with balloons and awkward suits. You fall back into your bed, hugging yourself.

Knock Knock

The vines around you grow deeper into the sound. "Hellooo?"
It was Peter.
"You- uh not naked are you? I mean I wouldn't mind or anything but.."
Your whole existence went silent.

You look up to see a familiar girl in front of you. Jean walks over to the door and puts her ear to it. "I need to talk to Y/n, come back later okay?" "What no! No fair you can teleport- wait your turn punk!" Peter argues. "No, go away."
"I'll be back!"

You groan and look at her. "You- what happened?" Jean asks, tip-toeing over vines to your bed. The moment she put a hand on you she swiped it off, feeling all your emotion. "What- what happened? Y/n." you cover yourself in blankets again, only letting your face show, and your feet peeking out.

"Just stupid stuff go away." you shoo her, unveiling your arm to do the motion. She opens her mouth. "I know you like wanna help but you can't- and you won't get it anyway so- go away." you turn the other way and cover yourself with the blanket.

She furrows her brows. "Try me. It can't be that bad. You are still here, peters still here, and the world is still in turn. Charles taught me that." she reminisces. "No- IT'S NOT!" you spring up. "Peter knows that I'm a girl! He saw me- and I can't take it back! It's not my fault my body looks like this! I just- can't do anything about it- and now he saw me and my stupid body and-"

Tears rose in your eyes, as your voice cracked. "I'm not what he wants- what anyone wants. I'm- a girl and there's nothing I can do about it." you cover your face as you sob. Jean wraps her arms around you, with a frown. "I'm not supposed to be like this.." you finally say.

"The party's starting. Go-ahead. I'll let you come back later- just go." You say, pushing her away. Jean looks at you, then to your door before leaving silently. You put your face in your legs the second the door closes.
but it doesn't.

"Is that what this is about?" He asks, you look up. He closed the door behind him. "You know I still like you right?" you gulp. "I don't care what you are- it's just you." you blush but can't stop the tears rushing out. He got on your bed next to you.

You wipe your face and look away. "Hey." he turned your chin. "I- I like you a lot. Still. Nothing changed. And I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't know you liked me back, I'm kind of a coward."
"I get everything now." you nod, blinking the tears away. He smiles and wipes them away with his jacket sleeve. "Hmm. Your room looks a little ancient."

He dashes you both into his room. He takes his jacket off and lays back with you. You take a breath and hug his side tightly. "Woah." Peter just smiles and pulls you closer.

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