Contrast

35

"You're doing so good Sunshine, just keep breathing"

Blake and I have been waiting for the doctor for 15 minutes now. Noah and Olivia are here too because they didn't want me to ride on the back of Blake's bike in case it hurt my head, so he just followed right behind us. 

Unfortunately, the nurse would only let one person in the actual room with me. 

I left Olivia and Blake to bicker in the waiting room about who was going with me and just followed the nurse in, not having the energy to be involved.

I guess Blake won the argument, though, because he came into the room only a few seconds later.

The smell of this hospital is making me feel nauseous, the longer I stay in this room the longer I start to panic. The artificial bright light in the antiseptic-smelling room makes me squint, and the feeling of the hygienic paper liner on the patient chair makes my skin crawl.

Blake has been a really great help though, rubbing my back and giving me words of encouragement. He isn't judging me at all for my irrational fear, which I appreciate. 

Not many people understand what it is like to be completely petrified of something that other people see as not scary at all.

Even Olivia and Noah have teased me for it. Not seriously of course, but still, it makes me feel invalidated. 

Despite Blake not wanting to admit it, it's obvious he has an irrational fear of the dark, so I assume that is why he is so understanding and helpful toward me about this. 

I take a deep breath and wipe my sweaty palms on my legs, my heart feels like it is about to beat out of my chest.

"What is taking them so long? I want to leave," I whine. 

"Want me to go out in the hallway and yell at them to hurry the fuck up?" Blake questions me, completely serious in his tone.

"No, definitely don't do that," I giggle, knowing that if I said yes, he totally would.

Thankfully, Blake making me laugh helps take my mind off of where I am for a moment until we hear a knock at the door.

"Come in!"

An older man comes in, smiling at the two of us. "Hello, I apologize for the wait. I am Dr. Martin. So it says in my notes you are here for a concussion? Can you tell me a little bit about what happened and your current symptoms?"

For the next 15 painful minutes, I list off my symptoms and do a few balance tests, memory tests, and vision tests. 

Blake stays next to me the entire time, holding my hand when he can. Even his presence makes me feel so much calmer, I've never been able to enter a hospital as a patient without a full-blown panic attack beforehand. 

"My official diagnosis for you is a grade 2 concussion. I would like you to abstain from any sort of physical activity for the next two weeks. You can resume normal activities, but nothing particularly strenuous. Do your best to rest when you can and stay hydrated. After the two-week period, if all your symptoms improve and do not get worse with exercise, then there is no need to come back for another evaluation. I will write you a note for your college explaining this so you should have no issue getting back to cheer," Dr.Martin tells us and we both breathe out a sigh of relief.

We thank him as he hands me my note to deliver to James. 

"You did great," Blake smiles, opening the door for me.

"Thank you, you being in there helped a lot," I smile back. "Now that I think about it, how did you and Olivia decide which one was going to come in with me?"